Wasteland
by MattUF1
Summary: In one moment, your entire life can change. What that change means is up to you. [Lucas/Peyton]
1. Mirrored

**AN/ **I have to send a huge shout out to _**fr0zen_leaf** _over at fanforum for having all of these stories that I wrote years ago and then lost. I'm so happy to be able to post them all again. Starting with this one.

**Chapter One: Mirrored**

She couldn't remember a cold like this. At least, not this late in May. Even with the top of her car up, the chill still racked her bones. There was no preparation for a day like today. Watching the love of your life get married. Whether or not it worked out, he was still up there, smiling, looking into her eyes. 'I do' may be merely words but…they were like boulders, crushing her spirit completely.

What hurt even worse was when the bride, a good person with some bad timing and no real knowledge of his history…ran out.

Peyton Sawyer witnessed it all. She saw Lindsey give Lucas back that ring. She saw the tears in her eyes and watched as she scurried down the aisle. Then she saw the boy she loved, devastated.

Someday was a simple word in theory. It meant…eventually, not yet…but not never. That one word that, to her, didn't really mean much…meant the world to him. When Lucas asked Peyton if she would be his wife, she said someday. Did she love him? Of course, but…that kind of commitment was huge and…they were so young, barely planting their own feet into the ground.

However, Lucas couldn't see that, or maybe…he didn't want too. Someday to him meant no, meant that she didn't believe in him. How could he think these things of her? After all they'd been through, the support they'd shared for one another for so long…how could he?

There are two polar emotions in our hearts that are almost interchangeable; love and hate. Each one carries a significant amount of effort to show. To love or to hate, you must be committed either way. Peyton tried to accuse him, to hate him. Certainly, she had her blame in all this but…the word no never escaped her lips. A part of her wanted to hate him, but that same part couldn't stop loving him.

The sound of a blaring horn behind her reminded Peyton that she'd been parked at the same stop light for a few minutes now. Looking back quickly, she pressed the gas and continued through the street. It took about twenty minutes to reach the beach from the church. Brooke was already home, most likely calling up an adoption agency since a baby had suddenly become her new endeavor.

Peyton wanted to care, but…a lot of Brooke's desires were temporary, an I want and I need sort of thing. Like a child who wants the new toy because their best friend already has one. Either way, she would smile, nod…tell Brooke that it was a great idea. Because she loved the girl and…being supportive is just who Peyton Sawyer was.

There was a soft rain falling now, a chilly one at that. Her pace didn't quicken to the house from her car though. She almost…lost herself in it. For as long as Peyton could remember, the rain was one of her many solaces. The sound, the smell…how quiet it seemed to make the rest of the world. Many of her earliest memories go back to the rain. It was raining the day she met Brooke…her first day of school…the last conversation she had with her mother.

Turning the handle, she stepped inside the house and leaned against the door while closing it. The world seemed a bit emptier today…a bit scarier.

"Peyt, is that you?" Brooke's voice carried from the kitchen.

So much for the silence of the rain. "Yeah."

The brunette stepped through the house and saw Peyton's sad demeanor, soaked to the bone. ", are you trying to catch pneumonia?"

"No, it's really coming down out there." She said, noticing the phone in Brooke's hand. "What'cha up too?"

She smiled brightly. "Calling up adoption agencies. Did you know there's like…seven in the surrounding areas of Tree Hill?"

Peyton raised her brows a little, shaking her head. "Wow." It was hard to sound interested when her mind was swirling in a million directions. "I uh…I'm gonna get some dry clothes on."

"Okay…" Brooke nodded, knowing that her best friend was hurting but not sure of what to say.

Shuffling up the stairs, she began shedding the dress before she even entered the bedroom. Rummaging through her dresser, Peyton pulled out a pair of sweats and the biggest shirt she could find. Appearance didn't matter tonight. She needed comfort and ice cream…maybe a little vodka.

* * *

For a little over 20 dollars, Lucas Scott could find comfort in this world after all. Maybe it wouldn't make his heart skip a beat or…put a blush filled smile on his face. But for that amount of money, he could buy a basketball from the sporting goods store and try and lose himself in something.

The game never questioned him, never doubted him. It was there when Lucas was at his best and worst. Basketball never ran out on him, never gave up on him. His own heart may have prevented him from playing, but…it never abandoned him.

His cell phone had rang…at least two dozen times already. Eventually he just shut it off. There was no point in answering it anyway. It's a strange thing, giving your heart to people and constantly having it thrown back. Sooner or later you have to wonder if anyone will commit themselves to you.

Lindsey Strauss was a great girl, she was there when he needed to be picked up. She was also there when he accomplished his dreams. The girl he thought he loved, wasn't…at least…he thought she wasn't. Everything was great, he was happy and in love…pushing forward. Then she came home and suddenly his life became a downward spiral that he almost jumped in to.

He wanted to stay close to her. He never wanted to stop being a friend to Peyton. Was that so wrong? Was he not allowed to care about her? You don't risk your life for someone…twice and then suddenly stop caring about them. Why did they all read too far into it? Too many people had walked out of her life…he didn't want to fall onto that list.

"Hey." Looking up, Lucas saw his younger brother coming down the hill to the court. "Your phone is off."

"Yeah…" Lucas nodded slowly. "Kinda felt like being alone."

Nathan sighed, squinting up at the sky. "You do realize it's raining…right?"

"Barely…it's dying down now."

Lucas took a shot, watching the ball slightly touch the net on its way through. See…this was simple, shoot the ball, it goes in…why couldn't life follow that pattern?

"I wish there was something I could do but…"

"There's not." The older Scott broke in, catching the pass back from Nathan. "I really just…need some time."

Nathan could only nod…words seemed to be lost on him at this point. "Just…don't stay out here too long. You might catch pneumonia."

With a painful smile, Lucas watches his brother leave before going back to his barrage of jump shots.

After about thirty minutes of this, he was covered with raindrops and sweat. Sitting on the bleachers next to the court, Lucas found himself with his head buried in his hands. Reaching to his side, he grabbed his cell phone and turned it back on. About seven new voicemails appeared but he ignored them all. Flipping through the contacts list, he stopped on one name and dialed.

_One ring…_

_Two._

_Three._

_Two more…_

"You've reached Lindsey Strauss, I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now but…"

Lucas closed his phone, frustration, bitterness and sorrow battling for supremacy in his heart. Standing up, he gathered his things and climbed into his car. There were still clouds overhead but the rain had stopped as he pulled into the driveway.

Walking through that door, seeing the emptiness left inside…it was as if his things were foreign without hers to match.

Just as he was about to turn and leave, a sound from the other room caught his attention. A small piece of him wanted to believe it was her, maybe…it was her.

Racing through the room, he turned, spotting a figure in the kitchen and when he looked closer, his hopes were dashed.

"Skills?"

The boy turned, dropping a box of something to the floor. "Hey, man…I-I didn't think you'd be home. I wasn't…snooping or nothing I just…you always have food and I was hungry. It's my bad, dawg."

With a sigh and a smile, Lucas waved off his concerns. "It's fine." He watched as Skills bent down to pick up the item he dropped. "What is that?"

"Mac and cheese, you want some?"

"Nah…I couldn't eat."

Skills nodded, clearly Lucas was upset and doing his best not to show it. "So I guess it wasn't exactly like you planned it out huh?"

The blonde laughed softly. "Not quite. I would have never shown her that book if I had known what it would do to her."

"What book?"

"My novel, the new one…it…one of the metaphors she took literally and…a few accusations later…she left."

With the microwave going, Skills sat down at the counter beside Lucas. "Talk to me, what's the deal?"

"The story is…about a boy who sees this comet and…it leaves and no one believes that he saw it or all the great things it did for him. He waits for it to come back and spends his whole life longing for it to return."

Furrowing his brow, Skills shakes his head. "So what? Was she pissed for boring her to death?"

Lucas laughed sadly. "Maybe…but, no…she…Peyton drives a comet."

With that, it all came together. "Ah…right. The other girl you love."

"Skills…"

"Come on, Luke."

"Lindsey is the girl for me, okay…end of story."

The timer went off on the food and Skills stood. "If that was true, don't you think she'd be cooking up the blues with you instead of me?"

"What are you doing?" Lucas asked, incredulously. Confusing his friend.

"What?"

"Support me in this, man. Don't tell me what I feel."

Skills sat down with his bowl. "You already know how you feel, dawg. You wrote a book about it."

"You know what…" The nonchalance of his words weren't sitting well with Lucas at all. In one quick motion, he swiped the bowl from the table and sent it crashing to the floor.

"What the hell, dawg?"

"Why does everyone try and tell me how to feel? Nobody knows how I feel, what I want…nobody cares! Just…get out."

The outburst was extremely unexpected, for the both of them. "What?"

"I said get out, I don't need this."

As Lucas stormed out of the room, Skills stood, unsure of what just happened, he left quietly. Not wanting to push the issue any further.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Breaking Peyton's concentration, Brooke asked as she walked into the room.

The blonde took a sip from her glass. "I'm drawing, why?"

"Not that…this?" She picked up a half empty bottle of wine and pointed to it. "Peyt, I'm thinking about adopting a child and you're…boozing like a 16 year old."

Brooke's holier-than-thou speech hit a nerve. "I'm sorry we can't all be saints, Brooke but I had a pretty crappy day in case you missed it."

"P…" She settled, kneeling down to meet Peyton's eye level. "A half a bottle in twenty minutes…that's not like you. I know you're hurting but…I also know that you can be a little self-destructive when you…"

"When I what?" Peyton asked, a sharpness in her tone.

The hole she was in, Brooke dug herself. "When you…lose someone you love."

"I lost Lucas a long time ago." The words hurt, it always hurt to talk about him, especially now. There was only so many times she could pick up the broken pieces of her heart and rebuild again. "Look I know this is your house and…I know I don't pay a lot of rent but…I really want to be alone right now. Could you get out…please." Peyton didn't want to sound mean, she tried…but it's hard to kick someone out in a sweet way.

Standing up slowly, Brooke sighed and nodded. Without another word, she turned and left. Her eyes were as empty as her heart when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Turning away, she picked up the bottle and poured another glass, sobriety might take the sorrow if she lost it.

* * *

"I'll take another." Lucas called out, sliding his glass across the bar and watching it fill up again. When the mug was returned to him, Lucas took a heavy sip.

The bartender looked him over. "You got money for all this?"

"Yeah…I got money." His voice didn't carry well, it was sharp, a grumble in its manner. "Just keep pouring the drinks."

Taking another swig, Lucas exhausted another long breath. This wasn't working, the alcohol wasn't taking away the sinking feeling in his gut…it was deepening it.

"Well…I thought I'd find you here." There was no point in looking back, he'd known that voice for 18 years.

Lucas cleared his throat. "I think I've earned a drink."

"So how many is this?"

Haley stepped up, pulling a stool out to sit beside him. After checking his house and the river court, she knew that the only other place he'd be at midnight is here.

"I haven't had that many."

"You never did know your limit."

Everyone's concern and judgment was starting to push him too far. "I've already got a mother, Haley. I just need some time all right. Can't anyone get that?"

"Luke…"

"Did you say something to her?"

His accusation made Haley's jaw drop. "Who Lindsey? Of course not."

"You said you thought the book was about Peyton. Then Lindsey says the same thing. Did you tell her?"

This confirmed her initial realization. Lucas was in dark place, blaming her, hopefully he hadn't seen Peyton…lord knows what he'd say to her. "I would never do that to you, Lucas."

Quietly, he turned his head back to the glass. Staring into the amber liquid with on phrase running through his mind. "The boy saw a comet. It was…just a story."

* * *

"The boy saw a comet…" Whispering to herself, Peyton's mind continued to think back to those words. She heard Lindsey say them…everyone heard it. It didn't take a scientist to make the connection. She drove a comet, she loved Lucas…Lindsey knew both these things.

Guilt…the guilt was what hurt the worst. Did she come home for Lucas? Of course, denying it now only made her look stupid, but she never intended to hurt him. To take away his happiness. If she could change it, Peyton would sacrifice the label, Mia…all the success…if it meant he could stay happy.

The wine was kicking in, a spinning room and a lighter head wasn't removing the clamp on her heart. A part of her thought it would be better, if she just…packed it up and…left town. Move the label, drop contact with Tree Hill…slip away quietly. It would be better for Lucas, Brooke too…she was starting a family, Peyton didn't fit into that. Everyone was living their lives, they'd all moved on…why couldn't she?

She stood, her legs felt like jell-o but she managed to balance herself. Taking each step slowly, Peyton made her way to the bottom floor.

Brooke was sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through a few business papers. She watched as Peyton stepped into the kitchen, stumbled might be more appropriate.

"What are you doing?" She asked, using a curious tone instead of judgmentally.

Peyton opened the freezer door. "I'm out of wine." There was a pout to her voice, Brooke didn't have to ask what happened to it. "I think I'm drunk…" She whispered, her body still as the air from the freezer blew onto her.

"Yeah…" Brooke stood, walking over to the blonde and placing a hand on her back. "Maybe you should lie down." Then she got a sniff of Peyton's breath. "Oh…wow…you smell like a wine cellar."

"Do you remember…" Her voice slurred a bit. "Remember when I first told you about Lucas…when I first…" Peyton's voice trailed off.

"I do, I flew to the California the next day. You cried, we drank…of course I remember."

A tear slipped from Peyton's eye, cascading down her cheek. "That was…I ruined everything. I should have said yes." Brooke had heard this story before, it was the one thing that haunted Peyton. Instead of dropping a reassuring line or trying to find a comforting word. Brooke just pulled her friend in and they embraced. "I think I'm going to leave…"

"What?" Brooke pulled back a bit, confusion in her eyes. "Leave? Where?"

"I don't know…anywhere but here. I can't do this anymore…I can't keep hurting people."

"Peyton, you are not hurting people. You're just…hurting. You need to sleep this off, tomorrow will be a new day."

The blonde shook her head, backing away. "No, I can't stay here."

Peyton was gone, beyond drunk and depressed. Brooke knew she just needed to sleep. "Come on…" She stepped closer, wrapping a firm arm around Peyton and leading her out the door to the stairs.

"No, I have to go…" Her voice was barely audible now as Brooke led her up the steps. "Just let me go."

"Shh…" Walking through the door and now carrying most of Peyton's weight, she pulled the sheets down with a free hand and sat the girl down. "Everything is gonna be okay, Peyt." It was a cliché choice of words, everything's gonna be okay. However, it worked…because…it was what Peyton's mother used to tell her when she was scared. "Everything's gonna be okay." Lying her down, Brooke stroked a cheek a few times, pulling a trash can close to the bed for just in case matters.

With heavy eyes, Peyton slipped into a comatose sleep. Brooke could only hope that by morning…everything would be okay.

* * *

"You know…sometimes I feel like nothing's gonna be okay again." Lucas had been talking for as long as Haley could remember. She was driving through town, watching as he swayed in his seat as they approached his house.

"Come on." Haley said, parking the car and rushing over to the passenger side. Lucas was pretty big guy, compared to her at least. "Keep your legs steady." She never liked seeing him this way, but since he'd just been left at the alter about six hours earlier, she decided to give him a free pass.

Using the wall for support, they moved through the house. Passing from the kitchen to the bedroom where Haley saw how empty it was.

They came up to the bed and Lucas practically fell into it. His body rolling a bit while he tried to keep from falling. There were tears in his eyes, ones that Haley hadn't seen until now.

"Luke…"

"Are you going to leave me?" His broken voice was hard to take.

"What?"

"Don't leave me, Haley. I can't lose anyone else."

Sitting down beside him, Haley shook her head with a smile. "I'm not gonna leave you, Luke. You'll always have me around."

"Why do people stop loving me?"

"Lucas, no one stops loving you…there's a lot of people that love you. Me, Nathan…your mom, Pey…" It just spilled out. When you talk about Lucas, and love…the name Peyton is at the top of that list.

There was pain etched in his face. "I hate her…"

A sad smile graced Haley's lips. "You don't. You're just a little lost."

"I want to hate her…" He whispered again, his eyes falling shut as the words were nothing more than a repeated mumble. A moment later, he was asleep.


	2. People Always Leave

**Chapter Two: People _Always _Leave**

**_One Week Later_**

It has been said that letting go is the hardest thing. In many ways that may be true, but…perhaps the greatest contender to that would be holding on. The only true challenge to the term 'hardest thing'. For letting go is moving on, pushing forward which, if done right, can be considered noble and stalwart. Yet, holding on can be misconstrued as desperate and pathetic.

For Peyton Sawyer, she was holding on for dear life. Each day that passed felt like another thread of the few remaining traces of their love was snapping. It was the fear of previous experience that kept her there, tightly gripping to the memories and thoughts of 'could have and should have'. She and Lucas Scott were supposed to be epic, eternal. In a life that had been bludgeoned of hope so many times, this was her last glimmer that hope…did indeed exist.

The balcony was serving as her temporary sanctuary. Brooke was currently knee deep in interviews and paperwork. Nathan and Haley were sifting through the destructed remnants of the marriage and Lucas…was Lucas.

So she did what time and trial had taught her, Peyton dug a little deeper into her own self and pulled out a bit more strength.

Each night the sun would trickle over the horizon as it faded away, and every time it would glisten across the water like a Thomas Kinkade painting. Sometimes she would trace the designs with her finger, pretending to brush them across a canvas. The inspiration was there, but…the struggles of holding the brush and canvas seemed daunting.

Just as the rest of life's tiny chores were starting to feel…overwhelming. Occasionally the wind would pick up, flipping her hair in and out of her face, always breaking the trance of thought she'd lose herself in.

Anyone who did take a little time to see how she was doing would always use those two frustrating words; 'moving on'. They would always say it with such conviction, as though, they were the first ones to ever tell a broken heart to pick up and start over.

Nothing is ever that simple, over time you create an image of the life you envision for yourself. Watching that crack and shatter in a matter of months isn't something you can just…push aside and power through.

"Peyton!" From the floor below her, Brooke's voice carried into her ears like an air horn.

She shifted her legs off the ledge and quickly made her way downstairs. She turned the corner sharply, smashing her shoulder against the wall and groaning in pain before seeing Brooke with tears in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

Brooke fanned her eyes and smiled. "They're giving me a baby."

Letting out an exhale, Peyton clutched her shoulder and shook her head with a forced smile. "Brooke that's great." Enthusiasm was lacking in her pitch.

"I know…I'm so excited."

Peyton scolded herself for the disinterest. This was huge for Brooke and she was struggling to muster up any sort of emotion. It wasn't fair, she needed to plaster a smile. "I am too." Peyton stepped over and took the brunette into her arms. "So what are the details?" She asked, pulling away.

"It's a little girl, her name is Angie and she's only going be here for a few months cause I'm financing a surgery for her heart. It's nothing permanent but…it's a step."

The blonde kept her teeth showing. "That's really cool. You'll be great."

"Oh crap!" Brooke all but squealed.

"What?" Peyton matched her tone.

"I have to get baby stuff!" Scurrying for the door, she grabbed her purse and didn't speak another word, just exited.

Peyton's head shook with a soft chuckle. After twenty-two years, it was obvious to her at least that Ms. Davis had a slight case of OCD.

At this moment, she felt like a woman without a country. She was stuck between things, stagnant like a rock in the crashing waves of an ocean. Everything was moving forward all around, except…her.

_Knock, knock…_

Her eyes shifted to the door, it was an odd hour in the evening for company. Stepping over to the door, she peered through the peephole. Past experiences of stalkers made caution second nature.

Seeing his face, she immediately opened the door. "Nathan."

"Hey." His smile didn't hold up that well as he stood awkwardly on her front step. "Can I…"

"Oh yeah." She moved aside, allowing him to come in. "So…" She started, shutting the door behind her. "What brings you by?"

"I kinda uh…don't have anywhere else to go."

Her eyes shaped with compassion for him. "Aw, Nate…I'm sorry. Did Haley throw you out?"

"Yeah," He laughed softly. "Like a week ago, and then today, Lucas did the same thing."

In spite of everything, the distance and drifting, Peyton never knew Lucas to turn against his family. "Why would he do that?"

"Because I called him out on his drinking and he didn't take it well."

Her brows crinkled sadly. "Drinking?"

"Yeah…Lindsey won't return his calls, emails…anything."

She couldn't decipher which was worse, hearing of all this pain that Lucas was pillaging through, or the woman who was doing it to him. Every time Lindsey Strauss was mentioned in a conversation, Peyton felt like screaming and running for dear life.

Unfortunately, that wasn't an attainable goal, instead…she sat on the couch beside him. "So what's going on with you and Haley?" She could however, change the subject completely.

"I-I…Jamie fell into the pool and almost drown…then the whole Carrie thing. She said she was tired of trying to change me."

Peyton nodded slowly, trying to understand. "But she has…Nathan…she has changed you. I mean, I can still remember a Nathan Scott who would have gone through these same things and wouldn't be pining over them he'd just be…man-slutting around."

Nathan smirked. "Man-slutting?"

"Yeah…" Peyton chuckled softly, pushing away a strand of hair. "You were kind of a man-slut when we dated."

All he could do was shake his head. "Anyway…we've decided to start up some counseling…but Haley wants to keep the distance for a while."

"I'm sorry, buddy." She spoke comfortingly, rubbing his back. "It'll work itself out, you two always do."

"You talked to Lucas?"

Those words caused her hand to immediately drop from his body. Her eyes shifting to the floor. It was different with Nathan, for some reason…he could always read her. "N-no…and I don't intend to." She could feel his eyes on her, so Peyton opted to defend her point. "He's in love with Lindsey…I'm just an ex."

"Come on, Peyton…you'll never be just an 'ex' with Lucas."

She shook her head sharply. It hurt, dammit it hurt to talk about him and hear everyone say all these things. "Please, let's just…not talk about this anymore. Don't make me the third person to toss you on your ass, Scott."

Nathan put his hands up defensively with a smile. "I'm done."

* * *

There was nothing but the shine of white from an untouched document on his computer screen. It was almost taunting him, shining in his eyes with that blinking line at the top. Blinking…as if it were telling him that all words were gone from his mind. No stories would ever reach his head again…it was over.

Over…it was over. At a certain point, when you send someone countless messages and they don't give you anything in return…you start to feel the term 'it's over' burrowing into your mind.

The next time he picked up the bottle of beer beside him, its lightness was disgusting. This was his last one, which meant that there were two choices…sleep or a long walk to the liquor store. Since he spent most of last night in the bar and all of today in his bedroom brooding…sleep was for the best.

Throwing his shirt to the floor, Lucas crawled onto the bed and let his face fall into the cool pillow. It had been, without question…the slowest week of his life, even if he could only remember half of it.

He spent most of his time trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with him. Why he could never seem to make love work. Maybe love didn't work at all. His mom and Keith had love…but it was taken. Nathan and Haley had love…but they seemed to be pushed down every time they fought back up. He and Brooke, he and Lindsey…Peyton. True love was supposed to solve problems…for Lucas, it was the center of it.

Just as his eyes began drooping, the vibration on his nightstand startled him. The glowing light of his cell phone screen shimmering off the walls. Reaching over blindly, he grabbed it and swung it to his gaze. His eyes widening with shock.

"Hello." He answered before fully opening the phone.

There was a momentary pause. "Hi."

Lucas sat up into the darkness of his bedroom. "Lindsey…it's so good to hear your voice."

"I-I just wanted to call and…ask you to please stop calling my office during the day like this. It's unprofessional and I'm going to get in trouble."

His eyes fell shut. "Linds…tell me what I can do to fix this. Please…just…help me fix this."

"It's too late, Luke."

"No, it's not. I want to marry you, Lindsey. I want us to be together. What do I have to do to show you that?"

It was quiet, he could still hear her breathing…she hadn't hung up yet. "I can't go back to Tree Hill, Lucas."

"You were going to move here before…what's changed?" It was a stupid question in a lot of ways…but he was desperate.

She sighed heavily into the phone. "I'll never feel comfortable knowing she's that close. I just…I can't."

There had to be something, he couldn't end up alone…he couldn't be alone anymore. "Then I'll come to you."

"Lucas…"

"No, I'm serious. I'll move up to New York. We'll…work on the novel and…I'll find a coaching job somewhere or maybe write sports for a newspaper. We can make this work!"

She still carried immense hesitation. "I don't know, Luke."

"Just…give me a chance to make this work." Determination and conviction was an emotion Lucas carried well, he could sell a popsicle to a woman in white gloves. "Lindsey please."

He waited for her to speak, his nerves on edge. "What about Peyton?"

Lucas felt a small part of his spirit die, but he _had _to make this work. "I'll cut her out."

* * *

The constant motion and force that Lucas had been moving with for the past hour was starting to make his body sweat. He'd been out here, on the river court wrestling with the decision he'd just made.

Cutting Peyton out of his life was never an option. In fact, it was something that…at a time, he couldn't possibly fathom. Desperation was something Lucas didn't handle well…and he was certainly desperate.

He took a barrage of shots, from all over the court. Not a one of them actually went through the hoop. He surveyed the court, remembering all the messages they'd left here…the ones Peyton had left here for him. They were faded now, it was almost symbolic…faded out.

"Surprised you're not at the bar."

His head shot back when a soft voice came up behind him. Haley took a few steps closer, watching as he used the neck of his shirt to dry his forehead. Lucas dropped the ball and let it bounce onto the grass beyond the blacktop.

"It's nice to see you too, Hales." He sat down on the court, crossing his legs and taking a few heavy breaths. "What're you doing out so late?"

She shrugged. "Jamie and Deb fell asleep watching movies and…without Nathan there…I decided to take a walk. How's he doing?"

"I don't…he left."

Haley's eyes widened. "He's not at your house anymore?"

"No, he…tried to be noble and…I didn't need to hear it."

Closing her eyes, Haley sat down beside him and shook her head. "I'm losing more and more respect for you, Lucas."

"Excuse me?" He retorted incredulously.

"What are you doing to yourself? You drink…almost constantly. You sulk and mope around, either at home or TRIC. I haven't seen you at the school all week. I feel like I'm losing my best friend."

Lucas' head fell, nothing more then a soft, bitter laugh coming from his throat. "I was left at the alter, Haley. I have a right to be upset."

"I know, but…what has pouting got anyone? You've gotta make a choice."

Confusion painted his face. "What choice?"

"Who do you love?"

He didn't understand why people continued to ask him that. Why they continued to believe that he still loved Peyton. Of course he cared about her, he…enjoyed seeing her and talking to her. Being in the same town with her again. He…wanted them to be friends…why did everyone make it more than that?

"I love Lindsey." He said matter-of-factly.

Haley sighed slowly and nodded with the only smile she could find, a weak one. "Then fight for her, do whatever you have to, to make it work."

Lucas smirked a bit, resting his elbows on the cement. "I think I'm moving to New York." Haley's eyes asked the question. "Lindsey…said we could try again…in the city. Away from all the drama."

"Away from Peyton."

Guilt was impossible to hide, it shot through him like a bullet. "It's the only way."

"You're really going to do that to her…abandon her."

"I'm not abandoning her, life goes on, Haley. She'll be fine." Frustrated, Haley stood up and brushed off her jeans. Lucas followed, unsure of her angers. "Haley I'm going to make this work."

"Even if it's at the expense of a girl you once told me you loved more then anything in the world."

His eyes rolled a little. "You're being dramatic, Hales…people change."

She started backing away from him with sorrow. "I suppose people leave too…"

* * *

She smiled at the sight of Nathan sleeping comfortably on the couch. He'd had a long week and Peyton could tell that he was worn down. His chaotic marriage was taking it's toll on him. Walking over, Peyton picked up a blanket and draped it across him.

It was eleven o'clock now, most of the day had gone by with her cleaning up a bit. She had been avoiding TRIC per chance that Lucas might be there. She'd been avoiding…virtually everything in order to keep away from him.

The thought actually unnerved her a bit, Tree Hill was starting to lose it's comfort. She used to be able to…go anywhere, find the shade of any tree or the solace of the lake. Now she didn't want to step outside, she hated what Lucas had turned her into.

He consumed her every thought, she would see couples on TV and envision herself with him doing whatever the actors were doing.

So for the hundredth time today, Peyton cursed herself and shuffled off to another meaningless task.

Before she could move onto the dirty dishes, there was a soft rapping at her front door. Turning on her heel, Peyton made her way to the sound. Peering through the peep hole…her heart clenched like a vice.

Closing her eyes, she turned the handle and saw him for the first time since the wedding. "Lucas…" She whispered, seeing him smile sadly, trailing his gaze to the floor.

"Hey, Peyton. Can you um…can we take a walk?"

She tried not to look directly into his eyes. However, she did nod and shut the door behind her.

They strolled along the beach, which was quiet and beautiful at this time of night. A crescent moon shimmering down on the crashing waters, not a cloud in the sky.

His distance and guilt ridden face told a heavy story. "Lucas, why are we here?"

A long sigh escaped his lips. "I'm leaving."

"What?"

Their motion stopped as Peyton felt the sand building up in her sandals. "I'm moving to New York, to…try again with Lindsey."

"I see…" She nodded sadly, trying to hide her devastation. "So what is this then?"

"I just…needed to see you one more time."

Peyton rolled her eyes, tears building in them. "Have your cake and eat and it too huh?"

"Peyt-"

"No, say your goodbye and go. I can't do this anymore."

He moved to meet her face again. "Do what?"

"Talk to you, see you…be near you." Her voice broke under the words.

Lucas shook his head. "I didn't want our relationship to end this way."

"But it did…" Her attitude softened as the painful realization set in. "This is the last time we'll see each other…isn't it?"

"I never meant to hurt you."

Blonde hair fell into her face as she smiled sadly. "Hurt is expected, Lucas. People _always _leave, you're just another mark on the list."

She wiped her cheeks dry as Lucas reached into his back pocket. "I want you to have this." He then extended a small wristband to her. Peyton grabbed it, their hands touching for a moment. Lucas could see the question in her eyes. "When I first joined the Ravens…Keith…gave this to me for good luck. He wore it when he played. You and Keith will always be intertwined to me because of that day in the school."

Peyton smiled softly, sweetly. In spite of her desire to hate him, slap him…call him an asshole, his mentions of Keith always melted her. "We'll always have the library." She held the item close to her chest and looked away from him again.

"I'm sorry, Peyton."

Her blonde hair swayed from side to side. "I'm not, it's the best story I've told so far." Peyton felt her heart break as Lucas leaned in and gently kissed her cheek. Again, a tear slid down her cheek, she couldn't control them.

In a lot of ways, losing love is like…losing life. You grieve, it shocks you at first. Numbness completely takes over your body and all you're left with is emptiness. At this moment, Peyton Sawyer felt numb, only a feeling she's had two other times…when her mother's died.

A boy she'd given so much for, a boy who had given so much in return. The moments they shared, the history they had. His saving of her, dealings with dead moms and uncles…shootings and psychos, it would be nothing but memories now. The only person she ever really loved was leaving…there was nothing left in Tree Hill.

"Goodbye, Peyton."

She stood in isolation as he shuffled away through the sand and along the water. Holding her emotion in tightly, using all the strength she could muster. "Bye, Luke. I love you." No one was around to hear the whisper. The last strand had broken.

By the time Peyton made her way back to the house, Brooke was home. Which meant that it was time to force a smile, unpack baby things and do her best to avoid any mention of Lucas. She wasn't sure if she could find the strength to hide her pain.

Stepping through the front door, she saw Brooke silently shuffling through stuffed animals as Nathan continued to sleep on their couch.

"Peyton!" She whispered sharply. "Look at all this stuff I got…baby Angie is going to be treated like a queen here."

Forcing out the smile she'd ordered herself to show, Peyton fell to her knees beside the brunette and dug through the bags. Animals, diapers, and an assortment of other toys filled the living room. This was starting to feel less and less like a passing phase and more like a serious endeavor.

"Are you happy here?" The question caught Peyton off guard just as much as it did Brooke. When she first decided to come back to Tree Hill, Brooke dropped everything to join her.

She nodded quickly. "Yeah, of course I am. I love being home…why?"

The word home lingered on Peyton's heart like an anchor in the water. This didn't feel like her home anymore. "I think I'm going to leave."

"What? Where? Why?"

Peyton smirked with a cocked eyebrow. "How and when?" Brooke didn't laugh and Peyton sighed, dropping her smile. "There's nothing left for me here Brooke."

"What about me?"

She touched her friend's hand. "I love you, Brooke…but…I'm losing myself here. Remember when we were locked in that library and…I said those things to Lindsey. That's not me, I'm not that person…I can't find happiness here anymore. I need to try and move on, I can't do that in Tree Hill."

Brooke could already tell that Peyton had set her mind to this. "What about the label?"

Peyton shrugged. "I don't have the passion for it that I thought I did. I want to draw and paint…that was my first love. I'll sell it to the big label in LA and…focus on my art.

The brunette nodded, one more question on her mind. "Where are you going to go?"

Her hazel eyes fell to the carpet and she drew on a somber smile. "I don't know."


	3. What If

**AN/ **Forgive the French in this chapter, I took it off of a translation website so I doubt it's perfect, lol

* * *

**Chapter Three: What If…**

**_Four Years, Three Months and Sixteen Days Later_**

**Paris, France**

Certain things have an endless beauty. The type of setting that, in spite of how many times you see it…it's more amazing each day. Paris had that type of beauty. Even more so at night, when the lights overtook the earth and captured everything in a breathtaking new way.

It was the first clear night all month. No clouds or rain, the chill in the air was sharp, but nothing that a few extra layers couldn't cure.

Tying the scarf a bit tighter around her neck, Peyton continued to saunter down the street. She had chosen tonight, to really soak in all the beauty of the city. Capture the awe of this place she'd grown to love and call her home, if only temporary. For after tomorrow, her two year stint abroad would be complete.

After months of working to put together enough money, and with a little help from her dad, Peyton was able to afford to go to art school. No better place then the artistic capital of the world. In 17 hours, she would be graduating…the trip would be finished.

Of course she missed the states as everyone so aptly called them here, but…Paris was a long way away from a past that could fill a soap opera block. Peyton had no idea what her first move would be there, maybe visit her brother, or stop in Savannah for Jake. Then again, she could always buy a house at the beach in Florida and ship her paintings to the nearest gallery.

Continuing through a few small curbside shops and food stands, Peyton came upon a book hut. There were random novels and short stories scattered about. Most of them were in French, a language she'd struggled to grasp in her time here. She knew her fare share of words, even if she butchered them more often then not. Apparently learning French on eight simple CD's isn't as easy as the commercial says.

Across one of the tables, she saw a hardback novel with a breathtaking cover. Her eyes had a radar for amazing art, and this was…heartbreakingly beautiful.

She picked it up and ran a finger over the picture, an empty bottle containing a long stemmed, wilting white rose. "Come What May." A whisper spilled out as the title escaped her breath. Her gaze trailing down further, she felt as if her heart literally stop beating for a good minute. "Lucas Scott…" Flipping it over, she saw the price and quickly dove into her purse.

"Excuse me." Peyton called out to the shop owner, his face looking up to her, one of his bushy eyebrows quirking. "Is this a new release?" There was confusion across his expression and Peyton was forced to search for the right words. "Um…Ce roman est-il un nouveau…relâchement?"

"Ah…" He nodded with a bright smile. "Oui, il est entré il y a deux semaines."

He spoke quickly, but Peyton managed to sift through the accent and pick up two weeks ago.

Once it was paid for and hers to take, Peyton found the first bench she could and sat down. Tightening the jacket over her frame, she crossed one leg and opened it slowly.

Not since that day on the beach had she seen his face. Anyone who knew her from then, never brought him up. Her father, Brooke…they knew the history…and the hurt, they pretended he hadn't existed. Unfortunately, Peyton was not as lucky. Your mind can tell you over and over again not to think about something, but…telling yourself not to think about something is just a disguise of the fact that you're thinking about it.

Time passed unbeknownst to Peyton as she immersed herself in the story. It was about a man, searching for a reason to continue doing the good things he was, as all common sense told him not too. He was raising an innocent little girl who'd lost both her parents in a plane crash. The more the struggles came, the closer he and the girl became. This little girl was keeping him going.

It wasn't until a couple passed her speaking loudly, that Peyton snapped out of this fictional world and into reality. She checked her watch, it was well past one in the morning…she was graduating in 13 hours. Closing the book carefully, she stared into that cover again. For some strange reason, it made her want to smile and cry at the same time.

Twenty minutes and a dozen or so blocks later, Peyton was back in her small campus apartment. She didn't room with anyone, it wasn't a heavy populated college anyway. Various artworks she'd done throughout her time here were hanging on the walls or stacked up in any available space. It definitely wasn't going to be fun getting all this stuff over the ocean.

Though it took a lot of time and a whole new surrounding, Peyton had found genuine happiness again. Sometimes it was tough, having no one to share all the small successes and joys with, but Paris had been her best medicine.

When her cell phone began buzzing across the small nightstand beside her bed, Peyton's eyes opened to the light of day. Unable to move her head from the comfort of the pillow, she reached blindly behind her for it.

Pressing the button a few inches from her face, she answered. "Hmm…hello." She gagged out, dryness in her throat.

"Good morning, Pey."

She smiled softly before coughing slightly. "Hey Dad. Where are you?"

"Your side of the world, plane just landed and now I'm waiting for a cab."

Peyton adjusted herself under the covers and propped her head up against the wall. "Awesome, I'm so glad you could come down here for this."

"Well I missed your high school graduation and…I couldn't miss this one."

Seeing him again would be wonderful, it had been so long, well over two years. "I guess I better clean up a little then."

"Don't worry about that, but…I could sure go for some food, that stuff they gave us on the plane was…not good."

Peyton laughed lightly. "I'll see what I can throw together. So I'll see you in about…an hour then?"

"Probably, see you soon."

"Alright, love you."

"You too, baby."

With a long exhale, Peyton shut the phone and let it fall into her lap.

She turned her focus to the window, overlooking a small park with a large fountain that children would frequently play in. The change had been so good for her, this…had been _so _good for her. There weren't a lot of people here that she knew personally. Some of her classmates were considered friends but not the everlasting kind. In some ways, it was what she needed, to depend on herself for a while. To learn that she could live independently and still smile every morning.

Although today, her eyes couldn't help but linger a bit sadly on that book sitting next to her bed.

**Tree Hill, North Carolina**

With one heave, Lucas lifted the final bag into the back of the car and shut the trunk. This was a day he had been dreading for quite some time. The sun was hovering over the small town, filling the air with dry heat as he watched the door to the large home open once more.

Loneliness was one of Lucas' biggest fears, and today was the final piece of that puzzle. His brother and best friend were taking their family across the country. Nathan's attempts at a come back into the NBA had been a hard fought battle. However, he was picked up by an NBA Developmental team that represented the local team in Charlotte. During this off-season, he was traded to the Clippers all the way in Los Angeles.

Lucas was starting to really hate that city, it had taken a lot away from him through the years.

Tree Hill was his home now, it had to be. There were things here that he couldn't abandon, responsibilities that were his and his alone.

"I can't wait to see the staples center!" The loud voice came from a few feet off. Lucas looked up to see his nephew racing to the car. "Have you ever been, Lucas?"

The boy had grown, he was smart and so much fun. He loved basketball just like his dad, but more then that, he was a good kid.

"Nah, J-Luke…I never got to see staples but I've heard good things. You excited about the move?"

The boy nodded slowly, leaning against the hood of the car to match Lucas' stance. "Yeah, but a little nervous. New people and…I'll miss hanging out with you."

"Yeah, I'll miss it too, but we'll come up and visit you guys."

"You better." Another voice came into his ears and Lucas turned to see his oldest friend approaching. Haley had aged well, her hair longer now, still dark but hanging slightly over her eyes. Not to mention her extending stomach of another new baby on the way.

"Don't worry, we'll make it up there so much you'll be tired of us." Lucas pulled her in close and they shared a warm hug. Her breath settling on his neck as she squeezed him tighter.

"I'm gonna miss you so much."

Lucas felt himself aching, his heart stinging…he really didn't want them to leave but…their lives were taking them elsewhere. "I know, me too."

"Damn, Luke get your own girl." Shifting his gaze up, Lucas saw Nathan coming closer with a playful smirk.

They pair pulled apart and Lucas extended his hand out to shake his brother's. "I wasn't scamming on Hales, I'm not into pregnant girls." He joked, causing her to feign hurt and Nathan to chuckle. "So I guess this is it." His voice carried softly, with a sigh.

"Yeah…we'll call you when we get in, the plane should be landing sometime this evening."

Nathan moved to the drivers side of the rental car and smiled. "Take care of yourself, bro."

"Tell Lily we love her." Haley added with an almost sad smile, the same smile anyone showed when her name was brought up.

So he nodded as always and waved before stepping onto the curb. "I will, be safe."

No one spoke another word as he watched their car pull out and roll down the street. A day he'd been waiting for since the trade was made had come and gone. Every trace of the life he had here for so long was gone.

The life you always expected to have is a hard thing to let go of. For Lucas, he didn't have a choice, not after that phone call that sent his world into a tailspin. Suddenly, writing and coaching…marriage and romance all had to take a back seat. So he pushed it all back, left everything behind to come home and do what nobody else was left to do.

Certainly it wasn't the future he'd always envisioned, but…he wouldn't trade it in for anything.

Turning back to his own car that was parked a few yards away, Lucas climbed inside and checked his watch. It was a quarter past three, because of this a small smile crept onto his lips. Finally he could pick up his girl.

A short ten minute drive later, Lucas found himself sitting outside the building, waiting for her to come out. When a flood of kids started exiting in a rush, he stepped out of the car and walked to the doors. A few more students came out until he finally saw her with another girl, laughing. Lucas never really understood it until the first full day he spent with her after everything that happened. You don't just love your children…you fall in love with them, no matter the circumstances. She was his whole world.

"Lily." He called, waving her over. She smiled at him softly, pushing a strand of flowing dark hair back and walking his way. "You ready to go?"

She nodded softly. "Yeah." Lucas reached out and took her hand as the pair exited the school. "What's for dinner?"

"Why you hungry?"

"Yeah." She started as Lucas opened the door for her. "They had burgers for lunch today." She stuck her tongue out with disgust as Lucas started the car. Lillian Scott had taken to vegetarianism at a young age. She would watch animal planet all the time but because of their busy schedules, the only pet they could have at the house was her cat Scarlett.

"Alright, I'll make you something good tonight then, throw a salad together."

Her face settled as they pulled onto the street. "Thanks, Luke."

For so long now, it had just been the two of them. No matter what came and went, Lily would always have Lucas by her side. No object, desire or dream would get in the way of that. He would write late at nights, after she'd fallen asleep. You could say that it was because of Lily that Lucas was single…but he didn't care. She came first, always.

**Paris, France**

"A tous les diplômés cette année, bonne chance avec tout et utilise votre art pour montrer votre propre beauté personnelle au monde!"

A woman's voice carried over the loudspeaker of the auditorium. A moment later, Peyton and the rest of the students hurled their caps into the air and the music started. Graduation was over…it was a rare occurrence, but she could honestly say today that…she was proud of herself.

Shuffling through the crowd of people, she finally spotted her father standing in his suit with a beaming smile. No words were spoken as she approached him for a much needed hug. His hair is shorter then usual, he'd aged, then again, she thought that every time she saw him.

"I'm so proud of you, Peyton. I knew my money was going to good use on this."

Peyton smiled softly as they pulled away. "I couldn't let you down." She can see him soaking in the sight of her dressed in this gown. "You want to get some food, I'm starving?"

Larry thinks for a second before nodding. "Sure, but you'll have to lead, it's your city."

His words stick in her head as they go back to the motel and change. This is her city, her own little adventure. For two years she did all this on her own and it had given her such amazing strength. She spent two years away from the pain of losing two mothers, the random nightmares of gunshot wounds and stalkers. Broken hearts.

When they finally find a quiet café to eat lunch, Peyton is trying her best to pilfer out a few important words and phrases of the stories her dad is telling her. It's proving to be quite difficult though. A woman in a booth across from them holding onto her boyfriend's hand, a man who's back is to Peyton. She's smiling…glowing as her accent and unfamiliar words barely seep into her ears.

She has a flower in her hair, it looks to be nothing more then an accessory over an actual flower. It's a rose…a white rose.

"Peyton?" The call of her name ends the trance. Her eyes find him again and she blushes at her lapse. "You still with me over there?" He teases, taking a sip from his drink.

Tight, blonde curls swaying up and down. "Yeah, sorry…what'd you say?"

"What's your next step? Are you going to stay here?"

The thought hadn't really came up much. She was so focused on finishing that anything past then had been ignored. Paris was amazing, it really was…but…a part of her always knew this was only a two year deal. She missed her home country and was excited to step back into that life with the things this one had given her.

"I think I'll go back to the states, I might head up to Seattle…open an art gallery, it's a big thing up there."

Larry nodded with pursed lips. "Seattle…that's…a long ways away again. You know, your dear old dad works on the east coast. He never gets to see his little girl."

A small frown enveloped her lips as she nodded. "I know, I'm sorry…I just-"

"I'm kidding, I do miss you but…you're finally opening up all that magic I've always seen in you. Nothing makes me happier then that." She's mouths a soft 'thank you' before picking at the plate in front of her. There were only two people that could well up her eyes with words, Larry Sawyer was one of them. "So I sold the house."

Peyton glanced up sharply. "Aw, that's awkwardly depressing. I mean, I haven't been there in eight years but…still. I loved that place."

"So much in fact that some of your stuff is still filling the closets." Her brows crinkled. "The new owners found some of your old things in your bedroom and asked me to find out if you wanted to have them. I told em' I'd ask you."

There were too many things from her childhood that she'd kept, it would be nice to see some of that old stuff again. "Does that mean I'd have to actually…go to Tree Hill and pick them up?"

He winced a bit, an apologetic smile painting his face. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay…" She said confidently him and herself. "I can do it."

With her mind still wandering on the thought of going back there, Peyton reached across her plate and accidentally dipped her arm into the sauce covering the chicken breast. "Damn." She whispered with annoyance.

"Well you wouldn't have that problem if you took that wristband off." Larry chuckled lightly, not noticing her lingering gaze on the small piece of black cotton that covered her right wrist. "You have that thing on in every picture you send me. Do you wear it to bed too?" He asked jokingly.

She merely smiled. "I wear it everyday."

**Tree Hill, North Carolina**

Vegetables were easy, over time they had become his specialty. Carrots, peas, corn…Lucas could do pretty amazing things with veggies. Most of the meals he cooked required a heavy amount of them. He tried his best to keep all the meats he ate out of Lily's sight, but despite his skills with greens, he loved his burgers and steak.

Tonight however, Lucas found himself dipping a pair of tongs into the large, clear salad bowl. Flipping lettuce and peppers all around. Lily loved peppers, she would seek out all sorts of hot, eye watering foods. Onions were another priority, she wouldn't eat a salad without a boatload of chopped up onions.

Looking back, Lucas saw her sitting at the kitchen table with a math book in her face. She was writing a few things down, as the homework drew to a close. It was tough for him, to set rules like a parent, but the homework one was first. All school stuff had to be finished before supper. He would help if he could, but to this day, long division kicked his ass.

He loved to watch her focus on a problem. Her tongue would stick out to the side ever-so-slightly, she had absolute focus on that and only that. Once in a while she would blow upward, removing the hair from her eyes, the girl insisted on having long bangs. Lucas always believed it was her shyness that brought that out. As though she was hiding her eyes from the rest of the world…or at least, trying too.

"And…we're done!" She shouted with glee, slamming the book closed.

Lucas raised his arms in victory. "Nice! Now…" He picked up the bowl and set it in the center of the table. "We eat."

Lily clapped goofily before taking the spoon and dishing herself out a serving. Turning back to the fridge, Lucas opened the door. "Balsamic or ranch?"

"Uh…ranch."

Grabbing the bottle, he set it next to the food and watched her drizzle some out. "So how was school today?" He asked, as happened every night.

She shrugged slightly. "Boring, Ashley's parents are going to some party on Saturday and she…I was wondering if she could maybe…spend the night?"

"I don't see any reason why she couldn't." Lucas responded with a smile, his words visibly brightening her. Ashley Rankin was Lily's best friend and closest confidant, those girls could find trouble if they tried hard enough.

"Yay, I'll tell her tomorrow. Thank you." He nodded simply as the remainder of their meal was peacefully quiet. Lily had managed to grow up much quicker then most eight year olds. Just as Lucas, she was forced to by circumstance. They had a good thing going here. Decent apartment, Lucas worked as a basketball coach which gave him plenty of time for her during the off-season. Most nights were spent at home, watching movies or reality shows that she loved.

Sometimes she would stay at her friend's houses, usually Ashley's. Those were the longest nights for him, he would miss her like crazy. Loneliness was a guest Lucas tried to avoid like the plague.

**Paris, France**

Stepping out of the shower, Peyton took a quick glance into the mirror and smiled softly…today was a good day. Almost as an instinct now, she slid the wristband back onto her arm before tying a towel over her body and going into the bedroom.

Sliding into a pair of torn jeans and a long sleeved, tight, green shirt…Peyton stepped back outside to see her dad asleep on the couch, apparently the jetlag and caught up to him. It felt good seeing him again, she knew it was on her to make more of an effort to see him now, she really did miss him.

Busyness had become who Peyton Sawyer was. In a lot of ways, she found it easier to immerse herself into life. Her passion, art…ideas would come so randomly that…whenever inspiration struck, it consumed her. She would draw, use watercolors, but…painting was her specialty. She could do wonderful things with a blank white canvas.

Muffled through the inside pocket of her purse, Peyton heard the soft ringing of her cell phone and quickly scooped it up as not to wake her dad. She opened it, stopping the sounds and seeing the name across the screen.

"Hello." She answered with a smile.

"! Happy graduation!"

Peyton shook her head with a chuckle. Heading out to the balcony. "Brooke, you didn't have to call me, it must be so late there."

"You have no idea, I'm literally falling asleep as we speak but…I just wanted to call on your big day."

"Thank you." Her voice was sweet, slightly above a whisper. The lights of the city catching her breath once more. A chilly wind pushing her hair behind her. "It's great to hear from you."

Brooke stifled a yawn. "I know, you really should put that phone to better use. I mean…I know the long distance rates are killer but…still."

"I'm sorry, it's just so busy here and with the time difference, have you been getting my e-mails?"

"Yeah, I have…sounds like you really love it there."

She took in a long breath of the air and nodded. "I do, but…I'm also ready to be home."

There was a momentary pause as Peyton thought maybe her friend had fallen asleep. "Where's that?" Brooke asked, a depth in her tone that added to the question.

"Not sure yet, there's been some interest in a few of my paintings and…if all goes well I should make some good money off them. Certainly not Clothes over Bros money…but good enough."

Brooke giggled a bit. "You could always move up here to NYC with me? We could rule this city."

"I can't." Peyton didn't hesitate to refuse that offer, both of them knew why without even having to say it.

"There's millions of people here, P. What are the odds you'd actually run into him?"

A soft sigh slid from her lips as she sat down in the lone chair outside. "I know, but…if I did…that would go completely against my 'never seeing or thinking about him' pact that I made with myself years ago."

"Even though you think about him every day."

"What? I do not."

A small scoff could be heard, Peyton could practically see Brooke rolling her eyes. "If you say so. You know, I heard that Papa Scott and Tutor Wife moved away recently."

"Really?" It had been a long time, years in fact, since Peyton had heard any news about Nathan and Haley.

"Yep, apparently Nathan was traded to a basketball team in LA, so other than Mr. and Mrs. McFadden, Tree Hill is pretty much abandoned of anyone we know."

Shortly after the big falling out on the beach in her previous life, Peyton and Brooke both slid away from everything in that town. After she left, it didn't take Brooke long to follow. She kept the store open in Tree Hill, handing the reigns to Millicent so she could focus on the management side of things. Peyton moved around a lot at first, settling in St. Florence with her brother for a while before heading across the world. Most of the other relationships were lost, just faded memories and random photos found in old scrapbooks.

Peyton wrapped her body away from the cold. "Well I have to go by there when I get back and pick up the last of my things from the old house, so…I'll get to spend a little time there. Maybe I'll hang out a while before figuring out my next step."

"At least…keep my offer in play. I'd love to be close to you again."

She smiled. "I will, now you get to bed, crazy woman."

"Okay, congrats again, Peyt."

"Thanks Brooke…bye."

"Bye."

**Tree Hill, North Carolina**

Of Mice and Men had and would always be one of Lucas' favorite books. This being his fourth time reading it, he knew almost everything that came with each page, yet…the eloquence of the writing captured him each time.

Night had come quickly, it took a while, but he finally managed to get Lily to sleep. She was always a troubled sleeper, little things spooked her which is why both doors always stayed open.

He could still remember the first time it all really hit him. The reality that…she was his sole responsibility. That…he was her sole protector from the evils and terrors of this world. One of the trees outside her window had been whipping in a horrid wind and…sometime around midnight, a branch broke off and smashed against her side of the house on its way to the ground.

If it hadn't been for her loud sobs, Lucas would have been none the wiser. Instead, he walked slowly into her room…too see his baby sister curled up on the bed covered with three blankets, a mess of tears. He crawled into bed with her, held her close and told stories of their mother and Keith…her father. Those always did the trick, Lily strived to be like Karen every single day of her life. Even if she didn't know much about the woman…she still tried.

Some nights they would forego the threat of fright and just…sleep in each other's arms. Lucas knew that someday she would grow to old to cuddle up next to her brother for a night. So he soaked in the moments now…while it was still okay to be afraid.

"Spider!" Out of nowhere, a shriek voice carried into his room and Lucas immediately rose up.

His feet moved seemingly quicker then his mind as he nearly tripped over the slight step up to her door. She was using her small flashlight to follow the tiny bug across the ceiling as he scurried about every few seconds.

"Okay…I got it." He reassured her, grabbing an old magazine from the floor and rolling it up. The reach was too high, so he used one of her small toy boxes and stepped up on it.

Just as he swung, it moved again. "There!" Lily called, again spotlighting it for him.

Lucas was forced to move his box and retake his spot. Another swing, this time there was definite contact as the bug free fell to the floor. He then turned his weapon into a dustpan and scooped the spider up before tossing it into the toilet across the room.

When he stepped back into her room, Lily was using her light to search out more predators. "Do you think there's a nest or something."

"I don't think spiders have nests." Lucas said with a smile, moving to the bed. "But whatever they have…I'm sure there isn't one in your room. It probably just snuck in when the door was open this evening."

She let out a long breath and nodded shakily. "I hope so, stupid things."

"Look, it's a quarter past midnight and _way _past your bedtime. What were you doing up anyways?"

His words made her head fall, long brown locks falling into her face. "I had a bad dream."

It was the response he was expecting, Lily had her fair share of nightmares through the years. So Lucas sat down on the end of the bed, his hand falling onto her blanket covered feet. "Mom?" She nodded sadly.

"I lost her again, she wouldn't come when I called her."

The little girl was certainly haunted by her short past…a familiar story to one he'd known years before. "You want to take a pillow and join me in the big bed?"

"Just for tonight." She stated to make things clear. "I'm a big girl now."

Lucas smiled. "I know." He stood and watched as she did the same, both of them shuffling through the hall to his room. He let her climb in first, she hastily rummaged under the covers and wrapped them over herself.

He did the same as her, only a bit slower and steadier. Both of them were now safely tucked in and Lucas reached over to turn out the light.

Through the window, he could see the outline of her tiny face. "You know mom loves you, right?"

"Yeah." She whispered softly with a nod. Lucas tried to reassure her of that as often as he possibly could.

He heard her try and hide a sniffle and gently reached over to brush her cheek "Angel on your shoulder, angel in your heart."


	4. Crash Into You

**Chapter Four: Crash Into You**

"_Welcome to Tree Hill…Welcome home."_

The sign meant a lot to her for various reasons. She could remember coming home the first time, from her years in LA, when the promises of love were her reasons. On this day, she entered this small town with hopes of letting it go. Pick up the rest of her things, and never look back.

Something about Tree Hill felt foreign this time. It had been so long since she made contact with anyone here that…she felt more like a tourist then a hometown girl. She could remember a time where the faces she passed in this place mattered. To her at least, ones that she recognized and knew. Now, after four years, this was just another stop. Peyton could only wish that she knew where that final destination was.

A slight buzzing her jeans broke the rest of her concentration. Taking the cell phone from her pocket, Peyton smiled at the name across the screen.

"Hello."

She then heard a slight chuckle on the other end. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a hold of you. This is my fifth call."

"Sorry, I was in the air."

"Finally grew those wings out huh?"

Her eyes rolled. "I'm back in the states."

"Were you planning on telling me?"

"I'm telling you now." Peyton stopped at the baggage claim and waited for her stuff. "How've you been, bro?"

She picked up her bags and listened while stepping through the airport. "Fine, bored as hell. Construction doesn't have a damn thing on Iraq. What about you, what's next, China?"

Peyton let out a soft laugh before heading through the terminal. "Tree Hill actually."

"Doesn't that kind of break of 'I'm never setting foot in that town again' theory?"

"Yeah…" She started, before stepping out the airport doors and feeling the sun burn through her eyes as she covered them. Her gaze lingering on the small band that covered her wrist. "Besides, the only _real _reason that I'm able to be here is because he's not, so…"

There was a snicker on the other end. "I've never met two people who try so hard to avoid one another. I mean, I couldn't even say his name the first few weeks you were here."

"That was three years ago, Derek, I'm stronger now." It was true, Peyton had built up a large amount of self courage through the years. When she was younger, she had strength, at least…a mirrored look of strength. Back then she used anger and sarcasm to keep people away from her heart. That way she could seem tough, even if she was on the brink of a breakdown. Now she was happy, she was at peace. "So listen, after I gather up some stuff here, I might come up to St. Florence for a while…if you'll have me?" She asked with a tease in her voice, knowing full well that he never really wanted her to leave before.

"You're always welcome in my home, Peyton. Just call me when you're ready and we'll work it out. I gotta go now though, boss is calling me."

Peyton smiled at his words, Derek hated following the rules of anyone that wasn't above him in the military ranks. "Okay, love you."

"You too, sis. Bye."

Hanging up the phone, she let out an exasperated sigh and looked around the parking lot. She really didn't want to call a cab, it had been so long since she'd just…driven. Back in Paris, not knowing the area that well, she would either walk with classmates or take a taxi. This was Tree Hill, she wanted to see it for herself, four years later.

Stepping back inside, she made her way to the rental car desk and hoisted her bag up again before taking her spot in line. Even if she didn't want to admit it, Peyton felt good being here again. Tree Hill had a hold on her, it always would. Too many good things came from this place that even outweighed the most bad. She met Brooke here, Jake, Derek (the sane one)…and Lucas, for better or worse.

"Next" The older, white haired woman called out in a less then enthusiastic voice. Not that Peyton blamed her, this job would certainly take it's toll.

She stepped up with her best smile and set her bag onto the ground beside her. "Hi, I'd like to rent a car."

"Really?" The woman asked facetiously with a lame stare. "I need to see some ID."

Peyton reached into her purse and pulled out her wallet, after letting the lady scan it for a moment, she nodded. "Any preference, Ms. Sawyer?"

"You got any Comets?" She asked with a smirk, only to earn a furrowed brow.

"Excuse me?"

The blonde shook her head with a small laugh. "Never mind, whatever's available."

Thirty minutes later, Peyton found herself on the highway, trying to quickly relearn the pedals as she rolled through town in a red, 2004 Prius. Certainly not her car of choice, but it got the job done. The place had grown, even more so then the last time she returned from an absence. There was bigger mall, fast food joints on every corner and some of the old landscape had been taken down for business strips.

Continuing through main street, she stopped at a red light and saw a large billboard for the Clothes over Bro's store down the road. Smiling, she hit the gas on green and pulled up next to the building. There was only one car parked out front, but she went inside anyway.

The first thing she saw was Millicent, sitting behind the counter typing in a few things on the computer. She had aged nicely, her hair was a bit brighter now and she had filled out more. Before Peyton could even speak, a smaller voice came from out of nowhere.

"Mom, customer!" The little girl shouted, causing the blonde to turn and see a seemingly photo copy image of Millicent behind her.

Looking back to the desk, she saw the woman's eyes light up a bit. "Peyton." Millicent jumped down from her stool and rushed around the counter. "What're you doing here?" She asked while hugging the girl tightly.

"Just visiting, look at you…mom?"

They pulled back and the dark haired girl blushed slightly. "Yep, this is Jessica, one of three children."

"Three?"

Millicent nodded with a glowing smile. One that all mother's seemed to carry. "Yep, Jessica, this is Peyton Sawyer, she's an old friend."

Peyton knelt down to match eyes with the little girl who looked slightly confused. "Hi, Jessica, how are you?"

"Fine." She answered shyly, looking to the floor. "Your shoes are cute."

"Thank you, I picked them up in Paris."

Jessica's eyes widened. "The country."

"The city, honey." Millicent chimed in with a chuckle. "Why don't you get check and see how many blue dresses we have, we have to ship them out tomorrow."

Without haste, Jessica raced to the back and burst the storage room door open. Peyton lifted herself back up and shook her head with a smile. "She's beautiful, Millie."

"Thank you, she's the only who likes to come here, the twins love to go with Marvin."

"How is he?" Peyton asked, remember the sweet boy from her childhood that always did what he could for others.

Millicent pursed her lips. "He's great, working at a new station, sports guy…he loves it."

"That's awesome."

The two girls sat down on a comfy couch that rested adjacent to the far window. Peyton knew it was coming, she'd been thinking of the answer all morning just in case she ran into someone familiar. "So what brings you back? Last I heard you were living it up overseas."

"I was." She started, taking in a breath of air. "Classes ended, I graduated…but I have pick up some stuff from my old house and then…find a new adventure."

"Any ideas?" Just like Brooke Davis, Millicent was a pusher, she wanted her information in bulk.

Peyton shrugged softly, thinking of something to say that would satisfy. "Not yet, I might move in with my brother for a while. I lived there a few years ago and loved it. It's a beautiful town and…who knows, I might decide to settle down there."

"You mean like…family, kids settle down?"

She smiled. "I mean like, live in one place for more then two years, I haven't done that since high school." Just then, Peyton felt her cell phone buzz and she took it from her pocket and sighed at her new text message. "Ah, my dad gave the family that owns our old house my number and…there very impatient. I should go."

The girls again hugged. "It was great to see you."

"You too, who knows, maybe we'll see each other again before I go." She said the words but she didn't mean them. Peyton had no intentions of staying. She would pick up the stuff, stay in a motel for the night and head to St. Florence before the sun had a chance to rise completely. As comfortable as it was here, this wasn't her home anymore. A fact she admitted to herself many moons ago…on that beach.

"I hope so." Millicent added, a tone that a sadness, almost as if she knew what Peyton was thinking. "Good luck though, with everything if we don't."

The blonde nodded with a grin. "You too, tell Marvin I said hi."

"I will."

"That's game!" From the top of his lungs, Lucas shouted out loud before bending over to catch his breath. A smile tugged at the side of his mouth as he watched his oldest friend, Skills Taylor, collapse onto the bleachers. "You're slowing down, old man." Lucas teased, his own breath struggling with each word.

Skills merely waved him off before swallowing a large gulp of Gatorade as the blonde sat down next to him. "You just got lucky."

"Three times in a row?" Lucas challenged with a nudge.

"Yeah well, I was up late."

"Always with the excuses." Throughout the years, Skills had remained a constant. He was always in town, always around to help out with Lily or anything that Lucas might need. Even when they drifted from the river court years ago. Adding Nathan, Brooke and so many others into their lives, Lucas always considered Skills his best friend. "Probably ought to call it a day though huh?"

"Yeah…" Skills nodded. "Where's the princess?"

Lucas let out a soft sigh. "At a friends, she stayed there last night. Is it wrong that I hate sharing her?" He asked with a laugh in his throat.

"Nah, what time you gonna pick her up?"

"Right after this…" Lucas checked his watch before standing up. "Which means that I better be going."

They shook hands before Lucas climbed back into his car and left the court. It was a beautiful day, Lucas loved the sun on a Saturday, these were the days he'd take Lily to the park or the lake. There was a time in his life where a good day would consist of book signings, constant motion and busyness. Now though, a good day was quiet, peaceful…spent with Lily. There wasn't any place he'd rather be.

She had become his life, the only thing he had to hold onto and he did with every bit of strength he had.

Driving through the calm street of the Whispering Pines housing complex, Lucas stopped at the pale yellow house at the end of the road. It was then, that he saw Lily sitting on the top step, her face buried in her hands.

Immediately, his heart sank and he moved to her swiftly. "Lily…" He called softly, kneeling down to match her face. Taking initiative, Lucas pulled her hands away and saw tears staining her cheeks. "Hey, what's wrong? What're you doing out here by yourself?"

"I told Ashley I wanted to be alone." She said shakily, trying to cover her face again.

Lucas didn't have many weaknesses, this however, was one of them. "How come? Were you not having fun?"

Lily shook her head sadly. "We were but…" Her voice trailed off and when it picked back up, she'd changed the subject. "Can we go home?"

He wouldn't pry, she wasn't old enough for him to force her into opening up. Honestly, Lucas always wondered if he handled things like this right. Raising a child was new to him, everything was figured out in the moment.

When he stood, Lucas saw Ashley and her mother standing in the doorway with sympathetic looks. With a quick smile, he waved to them before taking his sisters hand and leading her to the car.

While opening the door for her, Lucas caught a glimpse of her watery eyes and compulsively scooped the little girl up into his arms and held her close. Cupping the back of her head and letting the tears soak through his shirt.

Lily Scott's greatest attribute was also her most daunting flaw. She was too old for her age. An eight year old shouldn't have to deal with the traumas of growing up parentless. Lucas tried his best but…he always knew he could never replace Karen or Keith. So young and…lost already, where had he heard that story before?

The drive home was quiet, Lily was slipping in and out of sleep as she always did in the car. The movement worked as a sedative for her, she just drifted off no matter the distance.

Of all the things that had happened to their family through the years, the future scared him the most. When Lily grew older, went to junior high or high school. Started gaining interest in boys or…handled the pressures he did at that age. Prom and parties, it was so hard for him to imagine her doing those things, but time never stopped, it would come eventually.

They pulled into the small, one car garage and Lucas let out a soft sigh, he just…didn't know what to do. It was blatantly obvious that something was bothering her yet he didn't know how to approach it. Instead, he did what came natural. He stepped out of the car, made his way around to the passenger side and scooped her up into his arms.

She and Ashley would always stay up well past their usual bedtimes when they were together, so he hoped that maybe it was just exhaustion. That things would be fine after a few hours of sleep.

Gently, Lucas rested her small body onto the mattress and pulled the covers over her. He dropped a soft kiss onto her forehead before stepping out of the room and closing the door quietly.

Walking back into the living room, he found solace in the first open seat he could find. It was a small rocking chair, one he'd had since…before he could remember. His mom used to sit in it all the time, she would read here or just…relax. Over time he realized that was probably the reason he loved it so much, it reminded him of her.

A moment later, Lucas heard the phone ringing through the house. Standing in a rush, he picked it up before a second ring could come as not to wake Lily.

"Hello." He answered softly.

"Luke, hey. Why are you whispering?"

Lucas smiled softly. "Lily's asleep, I was starting to wonder if you guys had forgotten about us already." He said, feigning hurt.

"Oh God…" In turn, he received a playful scoff. "We've just been really busy with unpacking and getting settled. This city is unreal."

"Yeah, I've only been there once but…I know what you mean." Immediately, Lucas pushed the thoughts of his last trip to LA away. "So how are Jamie and Nathan liking it?"

Haley chuckled. "Well you know Nathan, he's like a kid in a candy store. The Clippers are actually putting him on the main roster so…he's ecstatic. And Jamie just realized that we have season tickets to the games so…he's set. Everything is really great."

Through the years, Lucas had learned to take things in stride. At this point, there wasn't anything outside of family that could shake him. Hearing the successes and happiness of the ones he loved used to be hard when Lucas found himself in a small time job just to support his sister. Now, he smiled…he had forced himself to settle…there was no other choice.

"How's everything back there?" Haley said, breaking a strange silence that had befallen the conversation.

Lucas leaned back against the near wall. "Fine, Lily's a bit upset about something though I just…can't figure out what it is."

"Did you try talking to her?"

"Yeah, but…" His eyes trailed to her closed bedroom door. "I think it has something to do with Mom and Keith…it's hard to get her to talk about that stuff."

The sounds of Haley's comforting sigh made him smile, she could do so many little things to try and make people feel better. "Hard on her or…hard on you?"

He laughed sadly. "Both I guess."

"I haven't lost a parent, Luke so…I'm not the best one to give advice about this but…if I had to say something I'd say, just, tell her you love her and do something nice for her."

Love was really the only thing Lucas had to offer anyone. He wasn't rich, nor successful. Small house, shitty old car and an eight year old girl that came before anything else. "I will. Thanks Hales."

"I try." She teased before they both laughed. "I should go before the boys tear down my new bedroom. Nathan or I will call in a day or two to check up."

"Okay, love you guys."

"You too, buddy."

The phone click over the line and Lucas hung his own up. Only four days had passed and he missed them like crazy. The town seemed quieter, emptier today more then ever. Hearing her voice and their stories. He would think back to the times growing up here, all the friends he had and fun they shared. Outside of Skills, Lucas and Lily were alone here. Tree Hill was a shell of what he remembered, but it was Lily's home and for that…he would stay here forever.

The television was small, so small in fact that Peyton found herself on the edge of the overly bouncy bed. She was watching the Food Network, Iron Chef. Things of this nature never really interested her, she had just grown accustomed to always having the TV on in Paris. It was just something to fill the silence.

Growing up, Peyton would seemingly seek out solitude. Hiding out in her bedroom with the music blaring to escape the world. The broody, angry teenager loved that. Now, eight years later, the lonely woman was terrified by it.

She dipped her last apple slice into the small container of caramel and finished it off. It wasn't often she ate at a McDonald's, but on that rare occurrence, she always ordered happy meals.

As the night continued to roll on, Peyton found herself consumed with boredom. She was too tired to drive, but not enough to sleep. Instead, she reached into her purse and found the cell phone at the bottom. The first number on her contacts list was quickly dialed and it rang three times before…

"Good evening, ."

The blonde smiled. "Same to you, Ms. Davis."

"So I take it your flight went well, you are now back on native soil?"

"Yes."

"Good, and what part of native soil are you on?"

Peyton sighed a bit. "Tree Hill, unfortunately."

She heard Brooke grumble with a laugh in her throat. "Come on, it can't be that freaking bad, besides…there isn't even anyone left that you know."

"Well…one person."

"Okay, Millicent, but she's a sweetheart."

With a slow nod, Peyton realized she was mistaken. "Okay, two then."

Brooke paused for a second. "Wait…who's the other?"

"I visited my mom today."

"Oh…" Her friend's voice quickly softened, as it had for the last 18 plus years when Anna Sawyer was brought up. "How was it?"

"Heartbreakingly beautiful I'm sure. I cried, I smiled…told her I loved her and missed her, then I left."

The quiet overtook them both for a moment, finally, Brooke was able to push past it. "So what's next for you?"

"St. Florence." Peyton answered, matter-of-factly.

"Really?" Intrigue lacing through the brunette's voice. "To see that sexy brother of yours?"

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Seriously, dude…no hot brother comments. But yes, I miss him and that town and…I think I might look into something…permanent."

She heard a gasp on the other end. "My gosh, is Peyton Sawyer actually thinking of…a home?"

"Maybe…" She smirked. "You know, buy a house, start a family, steady job, no real dreams…death. The American dream."

"So cynical. There's nothing wrong with a happy ending, Peyton."

Suddenly, in what was a brief occurrence, the lonely girl buried deep inside her came out. "Some people aren't meant for happy endings."

"Stop it," Brooke insisted with her motherly tone. "good things are right around the corner for you, …I can feel it."

"So what'd you bring?" As they pulled up to the red light, Lucas looked over to Lily in the passenger seat and watched her fidgeting with her backpack.

She looked up to him and smiled lightly. "My coin collection, I hope they like it."

"They will, if anything, kids love show and tell day…anything to get out of the school work."

Lily shrugged. "I still say we're too old for show and tell, but whatever. Mrs. Crabtree is weird."

Lucas couldn't argue, the woman was about half-crazy. A good teacher, nonetheless.

They'd had a late start, his alarm didn't go off and luckily the one in Lily's head did as always. The girl was always awake at the roll of seven in the morning. Her philosophy was that sleeping in meant wasting the day, and she hated doing that.

When the light turned green, Lucas pulled into the intersection slowly, checking for any oncoming traffic on the sides. However, when his eyes averted back to the road, he saw a cat racing to beat the traffic. With an avid vegetarian in the seat next to him, Lucas locked up his breaks to avoid it. His hand reaching over blindly to protect his sister.

"Whoa!" She shouted, grabbing onto the armrest tightly as Lucas pushed against the wheel.

Just as he was about to let out an exhale of relief, the car jerked forward with a smash. Both of them felt fear wash over them for a moment. Lucas quickly turned all his focus to her.

"Dammit, Lily are you okay?" He asked in a panic, seeing her eyes welling a little from the fright. However, she was able to nod slightly. "What was that?" Lucas looked into his mirror first before turning completely around to see behind them.

A small, red car with a now broken headlight was parked right up against him. A groan of frustration escaped his lips. "What happened?" Lily asked innocently, alleviating all his anger.

"Someone hit us, but we're alright…I'm just gonna go check on them. Wait here for a second and then we'll get you to school. Okay?" She nodded slowly, cradling her bag tightly as he opened the door and climbed out.

He could see a woman hovering over her hood, checking the damage. Lucas found himself trying not to look at her tight posterior that was staring him right in the face.

"Um…excuse me." Finally, he brought attention to his presence. "Are you okay?"

The woman's body visibly tensed and confusion painted his face. That is, until she turned around and met his eyes.

She covered her mouth that had fallen open uncontrollably. "Lucas…"

"Peyton?"


	5. Lullaby

**Chapter Five: Lullaby**

Karen Roe once told her son that; there are moments in our lives that we never forget. It is not what happens, that makes them unforgettable, it's the people in them. There were four significant moments in Lucas's life that he would never forget. The day his Uncle died, the day his sister was born, the day his mother died, and the day he was almost run over.

It was that day, when a curly blonde with venom surrounding her golden heart almost smacked into him, that Lucas' life turned upside down. He was able to grow close to his brother, find new friends and take his love of basketball to another level. It started the cycle that led to Haley and Nathan's love and family. It taught him about love, and how truly amazing it could be.

Little did he know, that it would be another car, another scary moment, that would change his life again.

"Peyton?" Lucas felt as if he were in another world. It had been so long since he'd seen that face, that he almost forgot how beautiful she was. No matter where he went or who was with him, her beauty always haunted him. Even if he was too stubborn to admit that. "Are you okay?" He asked, almost like a reflex.

Her mouth hung open, words seemingly escaping her except for the ones she cursed to herself mentally. Why in the hell did she have to dig through that damn CD case? "Uh…" She stutters, taking a sharp breath and starting over. "No, yeah…I'm fine. You?"

"We're good." There's a smile on his face that makes her want to smack him. How is he so calm about this? "You got a little cut." His finger moves to the top of her head and when it makes contact, she winces and steps back. "Ah, sorry."

Peyton lets out a soft laugh that lingers in his ears. "I didn't even feel it until that, thanks." She teased, both of them trying to chuckle through the awkwardness.

"I can…help you fix it up."

Her eyes close momentarily, this needed to stop before it started. "No, I'll take care of it. Just…everything's alright, you're car, you?"

Lucas pursed his lips and nodded when her aversion becomes obvious. "Yeah."

"Okay…I'm gonna go and get this headlight fixed. I'm sorry."

"Me too." He spoke with a heavy sigh, a certain depth in his words that hovers them like a black cloud. Lucas watches as she turns away and opens her car door. "Peyton." Hesitantly, she forces herself to look back. When her hand reaches up to touch her lips, a nervous quirk she'd always had, Lucas sees the black band covering her wrist. It takes everything he has not to smile. "It's good to see you."

Why did he have to say it? Does the boy actually sit and plot out words to break her heart on the happenstance that they may meet? Showing no emotion, she climbed back into her car and sped saw an opening in the opposite lane and drove around him. Thank God the traffic was dead this early in the morning.

As Lucas made his way back into his own car, he saw Lily watching through the visor mirror over her seat. "Who was that?" She asked innocently enough.

"The person we hit."

She shook her head with a smile. "No, you knew her, who was that?"

"Her name is Peyton, she's an old friend of mine."

"That didn't look very friendly."

There was no choice but for him to laugh at her bluntness. Lily Scott was the only girl that made sure to put him in his place every day. "Yeah, it wasn't. We gotta go, you're gonna be late."

* * *

"Hola."

Cheeriness was the absolute, last thing that Peyton wanted to hear. "Brooke. Penelope. Davis."

"Whoa. What's with the middle name?"

Peyton glanced into her compact mirror and saw a small trickle of blood rolling down from her eyebrow. "Tell me something, all the years you've been in New York with Lucas. Have you ever seen him?"

The brunette chuckled. "Peyton, there's 18 million people here, no I've never actually seen him, but honestly, I don't think I've ever seen the same person twice if I don't work or sleep with them." Before she could speak again, she heard Peyton hiss in pain across the line. "What's wrong?"

"I had a fender bender, must've hit my head on the wheel or something."

"You okay?"

Her hazel eyes looked into the mirror with a bit of sadness in them, she hated that. "I'll be fine." She stuffed the compact back into her purse and rested against the drivers seat of her parked car. "He's here."

"What?"

"Lucas Scott, that's who I hit." She heard Brooke struggle to stifle a laugh. "This is not funny."

In her mind, Peyton could almost see the eye roll that came with that classic Davis scoff. "How is this not funny? You've spent the last four years, keeping your distance away from that boy. You don't talk about him, you pretend he doesn't exist. Then the one time you go back to Tree Hill because you don't think he's there, on your way out, with all the streets in that down, your run your car into him. Peyton, what more do you need?"

"I think I need a drink."

"Was he alone?"

It was in that moment, those words that Peyton realized she had seen him by himself outside that car. That certainly didn't mean he was flying solo though. Of course he wasn't, Lucas loved Lindsey last she remembered. In fact, it was that love that cost them everything.

"When I saw him, yeah…but…I'm sure they were just visiting Karen and his sister."

Brooke knew the severity of this situation by the lack of strength in her best friend's tone. You can joke about things when time and distance allows for the healing, but…it never fully leaves you. Love like this never does, and they both knew this. "All kidding aside, you gonna be alright, Goldilocks?"

Peyton let out a long, much needed breath. "Yeah, I just need to get out of this town."

"Or get laid." Brooke added with a dry pitch.

"Goodbye."

* * *

From the driver's seat of his car, Lucas watched as the students came piling out of the building. She was pretty unmistakable today, carrying that jug of coins around with her.

She opened the door with her free arm and used all her strength to lug the coins into the car. Lucas smiled before taking her hand and pulling her in. "So…did you have a good day?"

"Yeah…" Lily let that warm smile shine, the one she took from her mother, the one that almost killed him every time.

"Did the kids like your collection?"

She nodded while buckling her seatbelt. "Yeah, stupid Jimmy Jones tried to steal some quarters though." Lucas had to smile when he saw her blush a little.

"Jimmy Jones, is that the boy you're always teasing or…flirting with?"

Her eyes grew about two sizes bigger as her long hair swayed from side to side. "I am not flirting!"

"Whatever you say, your cheeks are red." Lily let out a soft huff, slumping her shoulders and turning her focus to the road as her brother laughed. "You want to go to the park? Maybe play around for a while before dinner?"

"Okay, you're not going to make me play basketball are you?"

Lucas smirked. "Am I gonna have to push you on the swings?"

"Fine." She said with an eye roll. A face popped back into her head, curiosity took over. "How did you know that lady this morning?"

His smile faded ever-so-slightly. "Who?" He asked, hoping to delay the answer. Lily's unfaltering face, spoke of her lack of acceptance. "I-I…she and I used to be in love."

"You mean…like the way you love Aunt Haley?"

A sigh, he shook his head slowly. "No, I mean…like the way mom loved dad."

The look in her face told the entire story, his explanation had only confused her more. "If you loved her that much, how come I've never seen her before?"

"Because…sometimes things don't work out the way you plan them."

"But…" Lillian Scott was never one to take things in stride. "If it's like Mommy and Daddy, then why are you so far away from her. You told me that they would do anything to be together because they loved each other. I don't see the difference."

The car stopped just outside the park, Lucas shut off the ignition and closed his eyes. "Because I made a mistake…and I hurt her very much, and I don't blame her for not wanting to talk to me." The sadness that had enveloped the mood of the car needed to be vanquished. "Come on, let's go have some fun."

* * *

It's funny, when you find yourself immersed in something you love, time can flow like water through a river. Peyton could remember days in Paris, when she would start on a painting, and out of nowhere a good six hours would pass.

Today she only needed to lose two, that was how long it would take the repair shop to fix her broken headlight.

So she found herself walking, an odd yet, calming habit she'd picked up overseas. Tree Hill was the polar opposite of that place though. Despite it's growth, her first home still held it's serenity. It's calm.

The wind picked up behind her but was unable to match the heat of the sun that covered the park. Tree's occasionally shading her as they hung over the empty sidewalk. Her right index finger was slowly rolling underneath the heat of her black, cotton wristband. She was having trouble removing his face from her mind.

Over time, you start to lose sight of things from your past. Peyton had been able to drop the subtle features of his face and, before today, could only see silhouetted images of him. Now, that was all destroyed. She could depict every curve of his jaw, the tiny hairs of his always unshaven beard. The ice in his eyes that had an ironic way of melting her.

Peyton had given up on the hope that she would ever stop loving him. In a way, he damaged her. She accepted the fact that she would never be able to give her entire heart to another man. Certainly she could fall in love again, she even dabbled with a few boyfriend's in France. There sly accents and quirky smiles could never out-due the charm that completely destroyed her nearly ten years ago.

In the distance, she could hear the soft sounds of a child laughing. A wonderful sound. It made her smile unknowingly, as all children did when they were happy. There is nothing more contagious then the sound of kids, at least, not for her.

There he was.

She could see Lucas, in the distance, shooting around with a small girl on a free space of concrete that they had turned into a makeshift court. A road separated them and he was clearly caught up in the moment, so she ignored her desires to run from him, and watched instead.

He handled the child with such care, scooping her up to the basket and letting he slam it in. She would laugh, with all her heart as he dropped a kiss on her cheek. In that moment, Peyton knew she was witnessing the most beautiful thing she had even seen.

The girl was unfamiliar, her dark hair hanging just past her middle back. Wearing a pair of jeans and a tiny white shirt with flowers on it. For the sake of her own mind, Peyton didn't even bother with debating if it was his daughter or not. Even from her distance she could see the untouchable love between them, that was good enough for her.

As the girl stepped back to take a long shot, Lucas gently bounce passed it to her, but it was too high. The ball traveled over her head and past the grass that kept a gap between the street. Both of them looked in Peyton's direction and she forced her face to shift to the left. In doing so, she saw something out of the corner of her eye. It was silver, it was big…and it wasn't in any position to stop.

Before she could even register a second thought, she looked back and saw the girl stepping onto the street for her ball. Lucas behind her, screaming and running. Everything moved in slow motion as Peyton's feet began moving. She was closer, but he was faster.

Lucas Scott, the athlete, took over as he scooped her into his arms and saw a blurry face across from him and tossed the child at Peyton. She used entire her body to shield the fall for the girl. When her eyes could only see the blue sky above as she fell onto her back. The sounds of screeching tires filled her ears, a thump, a scream…then silence.

* * *

The voices were muffled by the constant ringing in his ears. Why was everything so dark? He kept thinking that, why was it so dark?

Their faces shifted in and out of view as he blinked with less and less strength each time.

Lucas felt as if he were floating, as if his body had turned into nothing but pure air.

Lily.

Where was Lily?

Her face entered his mind, those beautiful eyes, that pretty smile, her sweet little wink when she got her way. Why couldn't he see her? Hear her? Where was Lily?

Suddenly, Lucas found his lids to heavy to hold…his only thought in that moment…was Lily.

"_I don't see what the big deal is. It's just a television." He'd spent the entire afternoon explaining this to her. Even though he couldn't possibly understand what made it such a tough issue for her. _

_He watched as Lindsey huffed around the kitchen, slamming the fridge door shut. "You spent 2300 dollars on a TV and you didn't even ask me."_

"_It was my money." He fired back, almost trying to upset her. "Linds, I don't understand, do you want me to take it back?"_

_She scoffed, finally stopping to look at him. "No, I want you to treat me like an equal. Make decisions with me. At least have the courtesy to tell me what you're doing!"_

_Lucas stood from the stool he'd been resting on and stomped into the back room, a moment later, he came out with a large box and began covering the set with it._

"_Dammit, Luke, you don't have to take it back."_

_He ignored her, continuing his task as he spoke. "No, if it bugs you this much, then I don't want it, I don't need the hassle."_

"_Lucas do you…"_

_Both of their actions were cut off by the sounds of the ringing phone. Lucas dropped the box and stepped to the counter where it was sounding from. _

"_Hello." He answered, trying to keep his voice calm. There was silence on the other end, a breath, then a consistently quiet sob. "Who is this?"_

"_Lu…" A tiny whisper started, but was unable to finish, he pressed the phone hard against his ear. _

"_Who is this?" This time, his pitch carried concern, no longer agitation. _

"_Mommy's not waking up."_

_Lucas's entire world crashed down around him with those four words. "Lily, what happened, come on, baby…talk to me."_

"_I can't wake her up." She cried, he could hear her trying to shake something, the sounds of a bed squeaking in the background. _

"_Okay…" He stood, all but pushing past the woman beside him. "Okay, when you hang up with me, I need you to do something. Lil, you with me?"_

_She sniffled. "Y-Yeah."_

"_I need you to call 9.1.1. You got that?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_You tell them your address and tell them to hurry, tell em that mommy isn't waking up. They'll come help you."_

_He could all but feel her wavering, Lucas cursed himself for being so far away. "Lily, I'm going to hang up, 9.1.1. Okay?"_

"_O-Okay." That was when he heard the phone click. A pain feeling of powerlessness washing over him. Lindsey tried to speak, but he simply began dialing again. _

_It rang once…_

_Twice…_

_Three times._

"_Hello."_

"_Nathan, get to my house, now!"_

_A hesitation. "Luke…man what's…"_

"_GO!"_

_Lucas hung up his phone and felt his hand on the door knob and heard Lindsey calling his name, but he never stopped running._

Unfamiliarity mixed with helplessness is a deadly yet…fitting combination. At that moment when you find yourself standing in a white room, surrounded by strangers and left with nothing but confusion. There is not an act nor gesture you can do to help. No words or motion can make anything work quicker. Then, on top of all that, you realize that you are completely lost at the same time. It breaks you down and tests your will better then anything else life can throw at you.

Peyton couldn't tell you how long she had been holding this little girl in her arms. The tears were starting to moisten on her skin as they had successfully seeped through her thin material shirt. A tiny pair of arms that had been all but synched around her neck for so long, they felt almost natural.

She found herself bouncing up and down lightly. At one point, she was singing an old lullaby her mom used to sing for her before bed. Anything to sooth the sobs that seemed as if they would never stop.

"Do-not-cry-for-me-my-dear…" Her voice wasn't carrying well, but she was trying her best. "I'll-never-let-you-live-with-fear. Hush-little-angel-go-to-sleep…" Peyton felt a hot tear race down her cheek and drop to the floor. "I'm-always-here-I'm-yours-to-keep."

"Excuse me." The blonde averted her eyes to the voice, yet her body continued to move up and down. "Are you related to Mr…"

"Scott." She said quickly before going back to her quiet song. "No."

"Okay, do you know of anyone we could call, family…anything?"

Peyton shook her head, but then remembered one name. "Lindsey, his wife."

The receptionist checked her computer for a second, but looked right back up. "His records show no spouse."

"I-I…" There wasn't even time for her to process the thought that Lucas was single. There wasn't time to process much of anything at this point. "His mother. Karen Roe."

The name almost drew a painting of sorrow over the older woman's face. "He's Karen Roe's son?"

Her eyebrows furrowed at the sudden interest. "Yes, he was with this girl in the park." She spoke, gesturing to the small girl in her arms who was slowly slipping in and out of sleep from the racking cries.

"Karen Roe has been dead for three years, she died in this hospital. W-we…I'll keep looking." Without another word, the lady went back to her computer and Peyton felt her legs weakening.

She took a few steps back, her body bumping blindly into a wall and she let herself slide down it slowly. Peyton continued to cradle Lily in her arms, continued to feel lost and scared. Continued to feel as though, this were merely a dream.

"_I can't believe your mom put us on babysitting duty on our six month anniversary." Peyton made sure to keep her tone light. In all honesty, a quiet night at home with Lucas and his sister was perfect. _

_She watched him hover over the small crib and touch her small cheek, let her hands take one of his fingers and hold it. He was beautiful._

"_Yeah…" He started. "Deb's been begging her to go out and do something for herself. She deserves it."_

_Peyton smiled softly. "She did." She walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing the back of his neck. "Pretty crazy huh?"_

"_What's that?"_

"_How much you fall in love with them."_

_Lucas let out a light laugh and nodded slowly. "How do you know about that, you're an only child?"_

_Her hand reaching in to take his' place in between the baby's fingers. "Because I see how much you love her and…I can't help but love you both. You're both perfect."_

"_Peyton…" He spoke softly as they stepped away from the crib and sat down in the small rocking chair that belonged to his mother. It was blue with white trim, her favorite chair. He sat first, her small body joining him as they held one another. "Would you love me no matter what?"_

"_What?"_

"_I know, it's weird just…with everything that's happened with Dan and my mom…and Lily. I couldn't have gotten through it without you and I just…if something happened to me, I lost my mind or my body, would you leave me?" _

_She brushed his cheek over and over again. Through the years, Peyton had learned about Lucas' insecurities, his biggest fear was being alone, a trait that matched her. "Lucas, you could be a severed head in a bucket of ice, and I'd kiss you every morning." With those words, she followed them up with a soft kiss on his lips, pulling back to meet his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere."_

The little girl in her arms had began crying again as they sat, isolated in the waiting room of the hospital. Broken sobs racked through her body as her voice tried to call out, weakly, for her mother. Peyton rubbed her back, ran fingers through her hair, they were both in tears now. "I've got you, baby. I'm not going anywhere."


	6. Heart

**Chapter Six: Heart**

**_Six Months Later_**

Have you ever felt as if your body was doing things that your mind wasn't fully processing? Like, you're driving through the street and all the sudden, you realize you're at your destination and you missed the ride. As if, your body was going through the motions, you were completely alert, yet…you couldn't remember how you ended up there.

Resting on her knees in the dimly lit basement below the house, Peyton found herself shuffling through the dirty clothes baskets she'd collected from each room.

She woke up at five this morning to the sounds of something falling in the other room. The fright the sound brought meant that any hope of going back to sleep wasn't even worth trying. So she used the quiet time to handle a few bills and go through the stacks of mail that were filling the kitchen table.

Once six rolled around, it was time to start breakfast, a chore that, in spite of what anyone said, didn't get easier with practice. She could never cook…never. It was just something that wasn't in her. Yet, she tried everyday because they certainly couldn't eat takeout for three straight courses. When the bacon burnt and the eggs hardened, Peyton decided frozen Pop Tarts would have to suffice.

Around six thirty she ended up down here, folding clothes and making sure they had something to wear through the week. Growing up, Peyton always had a seemingly endless stream of t-shirts and jeans. Brooke would always do her laundry for her, it was one of many domestic traits that she never picked up on.

It was a few minutes later that she knew the rest of the house needed to be woken up. Leaving the remainder of the laundry for later, Peyton made her way back upstairs and shuffled down the tight hallway to the farthest bedroom. She opened the door gently, listening to the soft creak it made.

A quick smile painted her lips at the sight. Lily was such a heavy sleeper. Face first against the pillow, her blankets always a mess across the mattress. Stepping over to the bed, she knelt down and placed her hand on the little girl's back

"Lily bear, it's time to get up, sweetie." She let out a quiet groan before nestling her face deeper into the blue pillow. Peyton's hand slid up her back and began running through her long locks. "Come on…"

This time, it worked, there was a flutter as Lily's long lashes moved across the pillowcase. She smiled weakly. "Hi." Her tiny voice whispered, a crack in it from the dry throat that came from sleeping with her mouth open.

"Hey you." Peyton continued to play with her hair, returning the smile with one of her own. "How'd you sleep?"

She nodded slowly. "Fine…I had a really good dream."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…I was playing in the park with my mom and dad and Lucas. I…it felt really real."

A sadness covered Peyton's face for a second, she forced it away. "I'm sorry I had to wake you up from that."

Finally, Lily lifted her body up to a semi-seated position, wiping the sleep from her eyes. "It's okay. Did you sleep good?"

"I did…I had a really good dream too."

"About what?"

Peyton reached her finger out and touched Lily's nose. "You and me…we were going out to the ocean on a really big boat to see all the beautiful scenery."

Lily smiled brightly, sticking her tongue out slightly. "I thought that was what we were going to do after school?"

"It is…but that doesn't mean I can't dream about it too." Peyton then checked the small clock on the wall behind the small brunette. "Speaking of school, you need to get ready, I'll make you a Pop Tart, pick your flavor." She stood and moved to the door as Lily swung her legs off the bed.

"Blueberry!"

"Blueberry it is. Now get in the shower."

Closing the door on her exit, Peyton made her way back towards the living room. That is, until her legs suddenly froze at the first door in the hall. It was open slightly, darkness surrounding it as the black curtains kept the sun away. Deep in her mind, Peyton wanted to believe that the bed looked empty because the light never hit it. Yet, she knew that if the sun were peeking through the window…it would still be empty.

He still wouldn't be here.

She swallowed hard and forced herself back to the kitchen. Lily was a slow mover, but Peyton finally heard the shower turn on and nodded to herself.

This wasn't anything she asked for, or anything she expected for herself. At the same time, it wasn't anything that she questioned. Everyone needs someone and an eight year old girl who's lost so much…she needed someone.

People always looked at her funny, even if they were offering words of praise for what she was doing, the looks never deceived their true beliefs. Peyton always marked it under the heading that, they weren't strong enough or caring enough. Of course, the fleeting thought of 'they weren't crazy enough' always found a way to seep in as well.

She knew nothing of raising a child. It took her 26 years to learn how to raise herself. Now, this whole other life depended on her constant attention and responsibility. The freedoms of the life she had in France and…anywhere after high school were gone. Peyton had no choice but to discipline herself to be responsible, it was a different challenge everyday.

A little over twenty minutes later, a small, and now clean little girl made her way into the kitchen with a backpack in her arms. She sat it down in an unoccupied chair and set down at the table. Timing it just right with the toaster as Peyton set down two pastries in front of her.

"Juice or milk?" She asked, moving to the fridge.

Lily shrugged. "Whatever's closer."

The blonde chuckled softly, grabbing the orange bottle and pouring a glass. "Did you do that science paper last night like I told you too?" A nod was her response as Lily reached for the newspaper. "What are you doing?"

"Reading the paper." Lily answered, her voice carrying a tone of ignorance towards the question.

Peyton sat down across the table, sipping on her coffee. "May I ask why?"

"So we know what's going on in the world. Lucas used to always read the paper and tell me the funny or important stories. Since he's not here to do it…I'll read them for him."

Her eyes trailed down, lingering on the black liquid in her cup. "You um…you want to go and visit him tonight, after the boat?"

"Could we?" She carried a hint of giddy in her pitch. A sound that made Peyton grin.

"Of course."

The girl took a big bite of her food, but didn't let it stop her from talking with a full mouth. "Then I could read him some stories from the paper."

"Yeah…" The sight of Lucas and Lily in the park that day came into her mind, as it did at least once every hour of every day. She wished she could have captured that beauty in a bottle for her own personal safe-keeping. "I bet he would love that."

Suddenly, the sounds of a releasing airbrake in the distance broke the conversation. "Oh." Lily whispered, finishing off her breakfast and clutching the backpack. Peyton turned to the window and saw the bus waiting outside.

"Where's my hug?" She cried jokingly, watching the little girl turn from her quick exit and rush to her side. Her small arms clutched Peyton's neck tightly, sweetly and a pair of soft lips landed on her cheek.

"See you tonight."

"Bye, Lily Bear."

Peeking out the window at the street corner that filled it's view, Peyton watched Lily climb onto the bus and saw it drive off. She was a sweet girl, full of life and…surprisingly…hope. They had been through so much in the past six months. All the while, learning about one another and trying figure out how to live together. It was hard, strenuous, but Peyton knew it was worth it.

From the other side of the kitchen, Peyton heard the shrieking ring of her cell phone and stood up. Making her way to the living room, she flipped it open with a sigh. "Hello."

"Peyton?"

"Speaking." She said offhandedly, moving through the house and back downstairs to the laundry room.

There was a slight pause on the other end. "Yes, Peyton hi, this is Mrs. Sheppard from the Art institute in Paris. I'm the placement worker…"

"Oh, hi…" She finally gave her full attention to the conversation, dropping a small, flower print dress of Lily's onto her lap as she sat down on the hardwood floor.

"Hello…listen, I've gotten word from a gallery in New York, they looked at all your work and really loved the obscurity of it and want you to put together a few samplings of your best stuff and display it in front of some potential buyers next month."

The words absolutely made her heart flutter. The fact that anyone, especially an actual gallery would be interested in her stuff was all she'd ever wished for. "I…I can't believe it."

"So I can give them the okay and tell them you're coming?"

Yes. It was one of the most commonly used words in the English language. Do you want more dinner? Yes. Do you want to see if I can reach that star for you? Yes. Do you love me? Yes. Will you marry me? Yes.

Will you leave behind a little girl with no one, to follow your own dreams?

"No."

She heard a soft gasp on the other end. "I'm sorry?"

Peyton's eyes fell shut, she wanted this so badly that it hurt, but…she couldn't. "I have other priorities now that…I can't accept, I'm sorry."

"I see…" The conversation was nothing more after that then a few mumbles words and silence. Peyton hung up her phone and set it on top of the dryer. Her hands still clutching onto that flower print dress, a soft smile battling with her disappointment.

Art was easily her passion. Even when the pageantry of music blinded her, the art was always more. It was her heart, her soul, her everything on paper. She could express anything and everything onto those sheets of white. It tied her to Ellie, to Anna, to Jake and Derek. To Brooke, Haley and Nathan…anyone and everyone she loved.

On that same token, it tied her to Lucas and…she made him a promise. That promise, those words they shared that day were more important then anything now. That little girl who would be home in a few hours was it, she was her number one at this point.

She felt her eyes welling up for Lily, her innocence in all this. She didn't know why her family wasn't around, she didn't know why everyone left her. All she knew was that she was trying to hard to be a good girl. Like her mother and Lucas had wanted her to be and Peyton knew that she deserved love and care.

A soft laugh escaped her lips as the tears made her feel silly. She stood and put the clothes back into their respective baskets and carried them back upstairs.

After setting her own basket down on the bed in her room, Peyton made her way to Lily's and smiled at the mess scattered about. Lillian Scott loved to play with her dolls, but even more-so, she loved to throw them everywhere. She was so unique, she wouldn't play dress up with them or spend hours combing their hair with those cheap, pink brushes. No, she would make them female presidents or great novelists that would force their male companions to earn love. Even if she didn't know much about that infamous 'L word' at her tender age.

Lily was, without question, the strongest person Peyton had ever known. She struggled to decide if it was the youth or just…that extra something that brought it out. The girl had been through so much, so fast and yet…every morning she smiled. A trait Peyton envied and admired all the same.

Opening the top drawer of the dresser, Peyton stuffed a few pairs of clean socks inside and just as she was about to shut it, a tiny sheet of folded paper came into view. There was a red ink staining through, something was written on it, but the words weren't readable from this angle. Judging by its placement, this was hidden under the clothes for a reason.

Knowing in her heart what the right thing to do was, she shut the drawer and walked out of the room. It had taken her six months to get Lily to open up and now that they were starting to get along…she didn't want to risk it.

This time it's the house phone that sends its chime through the walls. Peyton rushes to the kitchen and picks up the hanging receiver. "Scott residence."

"I didn't realize you were a Scott now." A smarmy voice spoke to her and Peyton smiled a bit.

"I'm not, but it's still their phone. What did I possibly do to earn a Brooke Davis phone call at eight in the morning?"

"You, my faux blonde best friend, earned this because I was bored and Victoria is pissing me off, so I needed to drown myself in someone else's sorrows for a while."

Peyton rolled her eyes, she loved Brooke, really…but the girl never lied and this was no different. Whenever something bad would happen with her fashion line or her mother, or both…she would sink herself into Peyton's tragedies and try and subdue her own pain. "Don't I feel special." Her words carried a seriousness to them that was intended and noticed.

Brooke sighed. "I'm sorry if that came out wrong, I just…really I just wanted to check up on you."

"I'm fine, Brooke. Why wouldn't I be?"

The subject was touchy to speak of, for anyone, even her own father. "Because you're…stuck in a house in Tree Hill that isn't yours and…I just worry about you."

"I'm not stuck, Brooke. I choose to be here…I want to be here."

She could hear Brooke adjusting the phone to her ear as it muffled and clicked for a moment. "How is the girl?" It seemed like the best possible route to take in order to keep the conversation going.

An almost shy smile painted across Peyton's face. "She's great. I got a cheek kiss this morning before school."

"That's great, P. I'm glad you two are making progress like that."

"Yeah…" She started, letting her eyes fall onto the math test that Lily aced last week that sat proudly on the fridge door. "I guess after half a year she realized I wasn't going anywhere and…things have been much better. She really is a sweet kid."

A beat, just a fleeting moment of silence and Brooke whispered with a smile in her voice. "You love her don't you?"

"I…" Peyton couldn't remember flushing like this, the question caught her off guard. "I think I'm starting to. Is that weird since…I mean we're not related or…given the time I mean…it hasn't been that long."

"Peyton, you and that little girl have cried and laughed and…done so much together, every night for the last six months. The way you talk about her and praise her heart and everything, no…it's not weird."

The blonde took solace in a chair and rested her head against the tallest trim of wood it held. "You don't need to worry about me, Brooke. We're getting by really well."

"I don't worry about that, . I know you're taking wonderful care of yourself and Lily. I just…I worry about the other things you're letting go with all this."

It wasn't the first time she'd heard it, from her dad or brother…random people who knew the story. Did she ever wonder? Of course, she's human and curiosity for what could have been is natural. "I think about it…I do. But you know what else I think about?"

"What's that?"

A shaky breath slipped from her throat, she pushed it aside and spoke. "What if I hadn't been there that day? Where would Lily be now. Certainly not sleeping in her own bed or eating at her own kitchen table for dinner each night."

"Even though you can't cook." Brooke threw in with a tease, stirring laughter from them both.

"Fine, even though I can't cook." The light-heartedness dropped from her voice at the next words. "I'm doing this for her, and…I'm doing this for him. He asked me to do this and…you of all people should know why I agreed."

Brooke let out a long breath into the phone and spoke. "I know, you just take care of yourself okay?"

"I will, Brooke…thank you."

They exchanged goodbyes and Peyton again found peace in the silence of this place. The neighborhood was always calm, cars rarely passed and noises never really filled the streets. Peyton played her music softly almost every hour of everyday, it was a way to fill the gaps between Lily's hours at school.

A couple hours passed with nothing more than a little picking up around the house. The trivial chores bored her but she would never complain. The days were long, but the hours spent with that little girl made them worth it.

It was a quarter past two, Lily would be home in an hour.

Suddenly, a soft rapping came on the screen door out front as Peyton shuffled over to answer it. "Who is it?"

"It's me, baby girl."

Peyton smiled softly, opening the door as Skills Taylor stood on the top step with a bag in his hands. "Hey."

"Thought you might be hungry for some lunch."

She stepped aside and waved him in. "Thank you, I was actually gonna grill a cheese sandwich or something."

Skills shook his head and laughed. "Girl, you can't microwave a bowl of soup."

There was no way to describe it, but Skills words completely shattered her heart. She froze, covering her face as the tears welled up in force. He turned back and saw the scene, shock painting over him. "Damn, skinny girl, I was just playin'."

"No you're right, I can't cook…I buy stupid chicken every night from that damn Cluckin' Bucket. Little girls can't live on chicken, Skills! They need vegetables and…home cooked meals. Who am I kidding with this? I can't do this, I not her mother…I don't even know how to be a mother."

For as long as he'd known her, Skills knew that Peyton had issues she bottled up. Lucas had told him stories of some her breakdowns over the years. They didn't happen often and she was an extremely strong person. This…was a breakdown and he was very unequipped to handle it.

Taking a step towards the sobbing blonde, he touched her back softly. "You're doing great, …you really are."

"But I'm not her mother, I'm not Lucas or Keith."

Skills shook his head. "No, you're not, but…you have their heart. Let me tell you somthin' girl, there ain't a girl or a person I know, that would take this on like you have. You are raising a child, with no experience and you're doing good. Believe in that."

"You think so?" Turning her face to meet his, Peyton gave a weak smile and wiped her cheeks.

"I do, now if you need any help, you can call me and I'll be here to back you up. Alright?"

Sniffling back her tears, Peyton brightened her grin and nodded. "Thank you." They both sat down at the kitchen table and Skills dropped the bag onto the counter. "What'd you get?"

His face turned a bit red. "Cluckin' Bucket." Both of them laughed and he pulled out a small bucket and sat it down. "Sorry."

"It's fine, I'm starting to treat it like fuel anyway, I'm hardly ever hungry…I just use it to keep myself from passing out."

Peyton checked her watch constantly over the next 45 minutes as the pair ate together. The exchanged some of their best Lucas' stories from the past, even if speaking of him was hard.

Finally, Skills said what he'd been trying to say since he showed up. "I went and saw him today."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "You should have warned me about how scary that place is." His voice carried sadness mixed with light-heartedness. Peyton knew how much Skills was struggling with all this. How hard it had been for him. Coaching the team on his own and trying to get through the day to day drudgery without his best friend. Peyton could take care of Lily and do her best to fill in for Lucas, but she couldn't take his spot as Skills' oldest friend.

She dropped a napkin onto the small paper plate where her food was pushed and scattered around. A sigh slipped heavily, she spoke. "I'm taking Lily there tonight. We have this boat trip planned on Brooke's father's old boat. She's been dying to take it out on the ocean and I promised her I would. When we get back…we're gonna go and see him."

"You ever drive a boat like that?"

"When I was younger, my dad taught me how to do all that stuff."

Skills took the mention of that name to dig a little deeper. "How does he feel about all this?"

Peyton's sad smile told the story. "I-I really don't know. I think he's going out of his way not to call me. He's disappointed about the stuff I'm giving up."

"Things will pick up, …you'll see."

"They will sooner than later…" She pointed to the window where Skills saw the big, yellow bus parked outside.

With a nod and a grin, Skills stood up from his seat and gathered up the trash. "Alright, well I'll leave you to it."

"Hey." She called, stopping him from walking to the door. He turned back to see a weak smile painted across her face, her gorgeous eyes latched onto his. "You want to come with us…on the boat?"

Over the last six months, Skills had done all he could to help the girls out and try and ease the burden. In doing this, he'd learned a great deal about the blonde sitting across from him. She was sweet and fun when she allowed herself to let go. She was beautiful, in more ways then one.

So with a tilt of his head and a smirk, he agreed easily. "I'm in."

"Just make sure you keep us in sight of the shore." Peyton warned with a laugh in her throat as Skills took the wheel from her. "Holler if you need help." She ran her fingers over his uncovered shoulder and was unable to see him smile.

Stepping onto the deck where Lily was resting awkwardly against the edge, watching the water flow underneath them. She looked so peaceful and content as the fading sun shimmered over her small body. Giving her dark hair a gorgeous glint of light that made her even prettier.

"Hey, Lily Bear. You enjoying the view?" She asked, taking a seat on the chair beside her.

Lily nodded with a smile. "Very much, thanks for bringing me out here, Peyton. I love the water."

"I know you do, that's why your baths are always like an hour long." It was then that Peyton noticed the constant adjusting the little girl was doing against the makeshift seat she'd made for herself. "Come here." She called, patting her knee.

Watching as Lily stood and walked to her, Peyton reached down and picked her up onto her lap. She held the child close to her body, remember from long ago how her own mother used to do it. The way she hear Anna's heartbeat, the way it calmed her.

When she felt Lily sink into her body and rest her head gently across Peyton's chest, the blonde smiled warmly. They had grown extremely close over the past six months. Each of them having to depend on another. Brooke was right, Peyton was falling in love with Lily Scott.

"How long are you going to be with me?" The small brunette asked innocently.

This was definitely a loaded question. "I don't know. I try not to look into the future too much. We both know how quick things can change."

"I hope you stay."

Peyton felt her heart flutter a little and reached down to push a strand of hair away from Lily's dark eyes. "I-I…I love you, Lily. A whole lot."

She saw Lily's smile dance across her lips and the girl nestled her cheek against the cotton of Peyton's shirt. There was no response, honestly, one wasn't necessary. The words were in her embrace.

There are some places that you have to go, that terrify you. Peyton could think of three off the top of her head. The prison, when she had to visit Ian, the cemetery where she saw her mother…and this.

It's an hour long drive from Tree Hill to the St. Hopkins Rehabilitation Facility in Wilmington. Number Three.

With Lily's hand intertwined into her own, together they walked through the halls. The lights were bright and filled the area with an overwhelming shade of white. There were two doors, side by side at the very end of the hall. 401 and 402.

Inside room 401, was a man involved in a car accident. He had a leg smashed under the pressure of a semi-truck and was forced to lose it.

402...was Lucas.

Knocking softly, Peyton opened the door and felt Lily's grip tighten around her hand. She put on her absolute best smile, for the both of them.

"Hey you." She spoke softly, watching his head turn from the bed he was resting on. "Are you watching Grey's Anatomy?" A laugh stifling in her throat, as Lily bounded to the bed.

"Lucas, I brought the paper, you wanna hear the scores and stuff?"

It warmed Peyton's heart to see the smile that little girl gave him. Lucas took a moment, then slowly reached his hand out to touch her face. His fingers not able to uncoil as his knuckle brushed her cheek delicately. "I'd love for you to read to me."

As Lily pulled up a chair right by her bed, Peyton stepped over and dropped a kiss on Lucas' forehead. Her eyes latching onto his for a moment, she felt her stomach tighten. "I-I'm gonna go talk with your nurse, okay? I'll be back."

She left room just when Lily began her reading. Turning back a moment to see the way he looked at her, the hint of sorrow in his eyes. He looked so small on that bed, that brace around his neck like a synch on the rest of his life. It broke her heart.

"Ms. Sawyer?" A voice called to her, it was just the person she wanted to see.

With a smile, Peyton shook her hand. "Roxanna, hi." Roxanna Smith was Lucas' main nurse. She had the look of a nurse. A warm smile and caring eyes that occasionally covered by her flowing brown hair.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, we're doing okay." The women shuffled down the hallway together, Peyton's hands stuff firmly in her pockets. "How is he doing?" She asked hesitantly, the question almost…scaring her.

Roxanna let out a sigh, stopping at the desk and shuffling through a few of her files. "Lets see…" She flipped the papers around and found one, her eyes surveying it. "He's continuing to regain the use of his arms in minimum. The doctors expect that to improve over time." Peyton could only nod, even something small…was something. "He's still struggling to control his bowels and…it's very frustrating for him. He tries to smile everyday but…you can tell it's hard."

Her bottom lip began quivering, it was tough to envision someone who'd shown so much strength over time, for her more than anyone…talked about in such a weak state. "When will he be able to come home?"

"Soon, at no more than two weeks. He's definitely ready. The question is…are you?"

Peyton's brow furrowed a bit. "I-I am…"

"You're ready to be his full-time caregiver?" Roxanna noticed the hesitance in the blonde's eyes. "Ms. Sawyer, this…taking him home and caring for him will mean…it will be a full time job. I know your guy's finances are being covered by the lawsuit but…this is the biggest commitment you are ever going to have to make. Are you ready for that?"

She covered her mouth as the tears started to well up. A shaky breath escaping her lungs. "I won't leave them."

Roxanna flashed a warm smile. "Okay, then starting next week, I'm gonna need you to come down here every day, you can bring Lily if you want. Then we'll start going over all the things involved in Lucas' care."

Already committed to his care, Peyton only had one more question that she needed answered. "Will he ever walk again? Ever?"

"I'm sorry." She shook her head slowly. "I don't think so."


	7. Look After You

**Chapter Seven: Look After You**

Throughout her life, Peyton could always find serenity in little things. The sounds of a guitar solo, the beauty of a perfect brush stroke that filled the exact shape she wanted for her art. The calming sounds of the ocean waves on the beach at night, and her simplest peace, a comfy bed.

She felt childish at times, but more often then not, Peyton would leave her guest bedroom to take haven in Lucas' old room. His bed was huge and the sheets were unbelievably soft. His things surrounded the walls and shelves. Basketball memorabilia, various articles and reviews about his novel that were taped to the walls. Since she couldn't lay with Lucas at night, she could at least lay in his sanctuary.

It was already half past midnight and she was still unable to find her slumber. She'd spent most of the night reading Lucas' last book; Come What May. It's story had so much more meaning to her now. The girl was Lily, the boy was Lucas…each chapter told a part of their story. It was…beautiful, a word she seemed to find herself using a lot whenever those two entered her mind.

The portrayal of the boy's love for the child was heartbreaking and heartwarming all the same. He did anything and everything he could to make her smile. He sacrificed love and success to support her. Abandoning a young marriage, foregoing his career as a budding musician. Even if some of the details were altered, this was Lucas' love for his sister inside of a hardback cover.

Outside her bedroom door, Peyton heard a thump against the wood floor of the hallway. She closed the book and sat up, leaning forward to see as far out as she could. A moment later, a small figure appeared in the doorway.

"Lily Bear, what's wrong?"

The girl took a few steps towards Peyton's bed, her pale skin coming more into focus with each step. "I don't feel very good." She pouted, climbing onto the mattress and next to the blonde.

Peyton took her arm and pulled Lily in close. "What's the matter, baby?"

"My tummy." She cried, nestling in closer to the woman.

"Your tummy hurts? Do you feel like you might throw up?" Lily nodded slowly. "Okay…um…" She thought for a second, trying to remember what…any normal parent might do in this situation. Then she thought of Nathan, and how his mom told her stories of when he would get sick. So she reached down next to the nightstand and grabbed her small garbage can. "Alright…" She started, setting the can in front of them. "If you start to feel sick, we'll put it in this, okay? I'll be right here."

Looking down, Peyton noticed tears in the little girl's eyes and she hastily wiped them away. "I'm sorry." Lily whispered, not averting her eyes from the blue sheets.

"For what?"

"I-I lied to you."

The blonde's brow furrowed, completely thrown off by the words. "About what, Lil?"

She began welling up even more before she answered. "I don't like chicken."

"Wh…" Peyton stumbled, trying to process it all. "You don't like chicken? Sweetie, we've been eating it so much lately, why didn't you say something?"

"Because I saw you…a few months ago, you were reading a cooking book and doing stuff over the stove and you started crying when it didn't work. I knew you were trying real hard and I didn't want to upset you."

Shaking her head with absolute heartbreak, Peyton gathered Lily into her arms. "What is it with you Scotts?" She whispered, tears springing from her ducts. "We don't have to eat chicken anymore, I can try harder to cook." Peyton held her close, stroking her hair. "What'd you like to eat?"

"Veggies and stuff…" She responded softly.

"Okay, I'll work on the veggies, and you…"

Before another word could be spoken, Lily felt her stomach churn and Peyton could sense the lurch in her body. Swiftly, she pulled the can over and rested it under the girl's chin. A few heaves at first, then suddenly, a rush of yellow liquid came pouring out. Peyton recognized the bile, it was definitely some sort of stomach bug.

She rubbed Lily's back gently, using her other hand to hold her long hair away from the contents. "Let it out…" Two more times she vomited painfully, before her back fell against the pillows behind them.

Peyton moved the can off the bed and to the floor. She slid back to rest beside the girl, taking her small body into her arms. "Any better?"

"A little." She whispered with cracks in her voice from the tears that were building up on her cheeks.

Leaning over, Peyton dropped a kiss on the top of Lily's head. "Okay, I'm gonna set you up a doctors appointment tomorrow just to be safe."

"I don't want to go to the doctor."

"I know you don't but…I don't want you to be sick, baby. He'll give us medicine to make you better."

Lily shook her head. "I hate that place."

She cradled her in closer, using her arms as a make-shift cocoon. "I know you do, will you go for me?"

Over the last six, going on seven, months, both Lily and Peyton had developed a similar weakness…each other. "Okay."

With a smile, Peyton noticed the brunette's eyes fading as her lids grew heavy. "Tell you what, make yourself comfortable. I'm gonna go dump out the trashcan and bring you a warm rag to clean your face and we'll go to bed. You can stay in here with me tonight…just in case."

Sliding out from under the covers, Peyton scooped up the can and made her way to the bathroom first. After dumping the puke into the toilet, she headed to the kitchen next. It was there that she took a moment to recompose herself.

It certainly wasn't the first time that Lily had battled a bug, but this was the first time she's seen her vomit like that. The site alone terrified her. Peyton could do anything within her power to protect Lillian Scott from the evils of the world, but she couldn't protect her from illness.

With her hands gripping the edges of the sink tightly, she took a breath to settled down before turning the faucet on.

Anything and everything she did was all done in the moment. She had no training for childcare. Since this wasn't her daughter, the 'maternal instincts' that everyone spoke of were absent. So Peyton did what she thought was best, always…and hoped it was right. Skills would help, Brooke chimed in with her advice every once and a while.

There was only one place that Peyton could have turned to for true 'parenting' advice. However, just as she had stated as all this was going down and the way they handled it. She would not ask for anything from either of them.

Stepping back into the bedroom with a warm cloth in her hand, Peyton saw that Lily was already fast asleep. Her left leg hanging out from under the blankets as she lay awkwardly against the pillows. The sight made the blonde smile as she moved quietly to the girl and began cleaning her face gently.

Peyton could remember her mother telling her about angels when she was younger. How they were beings that brought light into the darkness, no matter how scary it might feel. They could bring a smile to your face through tragedy and joy in your heart through pain. Every time she looked into the face of the eight year old on this bed, Peyton swore she saw a little angel in there somewhere.

When you spend a significant amount of time in silence, you start to lose yourself in your own mind. Lucas knew every dent and crack in the ceiling that hovered above him. It was in the silence that his mind raced the most. The thoughts that consumed his emotions and made him want to scream and cry all at the same time.

Everything happened so fast it seemed. One day, he was playing with his little sister in the park and the next…he was here, trapped in this hell his body had created. His legs were like paperweights, simply holding him down and keeping him isolated. Then there were his arms, trying desperately to relearn all their normal functions. He couldn't grip anything, not the sheets beneath him, a pencil…nothing.

The day he began moving his right wrist up and down…Roxanna called it a breakthrough. To say Lucas was unenthused would be an understatement.

Lucas Scott was an athlete, he had been his entire life. Now he was that same athlete, trapped in a body that couldn't even grip a pencil. He went to the bathroom in bags, had to have strange nurses bathing him everyday. Soon enough, he would have to subject Peyton and Lily to this. There was no escape.

"Lucas, you have a visitor." From the door, Roxanna called out to him with a smile before stepping inside.

It was then that he saw her, Peyton…stepping through the door with her patented warm, comforting smile. She was dressed in an oversized white shirt and a pair of jeans. Her hair back in a ponytail, he knew she was here to learn.

"Hey you."

He smiled as best he could. "Hi. Where's Lily?"

Peyton sighed. "I left her with Skills, she wasn't feeling well and he told me he could handle it. I didn't really want to leave her but…I knew I had to be here today."

A simple nod was his only response as the two girls moved to the bed. "Okay, Lucas…" Roxanna started. "You up for this?" Again he nodded, his emotionless face was breaking Peyton piece by piece. "Alright, lets do transfers. Now, over time, the muscles in his arms will regain more strength and hopefully, he'll be able to move himself to small distances. Until then, there's a trick to helping him from chair to bed, chair to toilet, etcetera." Peyton watched as Roxanna cupped the back of Lucas' head carefully. "Now, when you sit him up, always support his neck, no matter what. The brace will be off at home so it's vital. You with me so far?"

"Yeah…" She spoke softly, trying to stay focused and not concentrate on the misery hidden deep in his cold blue eyes.

"Okay…now, we'll give you a few pairs of these special pants with the hooks on the sides…this are to help you move him. First, swing his legs off the bed gently." As she spoke, Roxanna did what her words described. Taking his legs and letting them dangle over the side. "Then move the chair to the position that works for you. This one seems to be the most popular." She then took the chair and moved it laterally with the mattress. "Take your hands and grab onto the hooks on both sides. Make sure and use your legs when you lift. I know you're young but it could really do damage to your back if you're not careful."

"She's already had back issues." Lucas' voice carried quietly through the room. Peyton noticed a tiny smile playing on his lips as she did the same.

Roxanna turned to the blonde. "You have?"

"It was silly. We were playing at a basketball court during a summer together and I tried to see how close I could get to dunking it. Which was not at all close, and I lost my footing and landed pretty hard. Superman here just had to drag me to the hospital." She teased, soaking up every moment of his smile.

Lucas shook his head. "And it helped, they gave her drugs and she loved those."

"Does it still bother you?" The nurse in Roxanna was shining through.

"No…I'm fine. I've had no problems with it since."

The older woman nodded pensively. "Even so, you be extra careful with the lifting. You've got good legs, use them." She insisted before turning back to the boy. "Lucas will put his arms around your neck…" He did as directed. "Then you lift…and sit…slowly."

As Lucas was placed into the chair, Peyton fought the desperate urge to cry in seeing him there. It was in that moment, watching Roxanna have to place his legs onto the rests, that she knew he would be like this forever. There was no time to brood over it, she had to accept it and move on, right then and there.

"You ready to give it a shot?"

The blonde found her smile again and nodded. "Sure."

Stepping to him, Peyton touched his shoulder while moving around his body.

"Bend your knees…" Roxanna instructed while she moved. Peyton knelt down, her face meeting his at an exact level, she grinned at him. Taking her hands, she hooked them into the loops and felt her chest tighten when his arms made their way around his neck. For a brief moment she forgot where she was and was lost in his embrace. "Hamstring." The word broke her trance and Peyton shook her head swiftly.

When she leaned in closer to him, Lucas took in her scent; vanilla…her hair smelt like vanilla

In one swift move, Peyton hoisted Lucas' limp body off the chair and pivoted him to the bed. When he landed on the mattress softly, a rush of relief fell over her…she could do this.

"Alright, now put his legs on the bed and…"

Lucas' sudden switch in demeanor stopped all the words from moving in the room. Peyton watched the mixture of embarrassment and frustration paint his face. When her eyes fell to the stain on the bed where he'd been sitting, she knew.

"Oops." Roxanna said calmly, professionally.

Knowing she needed the same outlook, Peyton kept her teeth showing, never taking her eyes from his. "We better clean this up." She said light-heartedly, hoping it would settle him, instead, a tear streaked down his face.

He had just had the worst kind of accident right in front of her. It was taking all he had to control this and just when he thought progress was being made…he took two steps back.

Roxanna took the rag and began cleaning the sheets as Peyton reached over and brushed the drop from his cheek. "It's okay, Luke."

His head turned, he couldn't look at her. Lucas had to pretend he was somewhere else, not soiling himself in front of a girl he loved…a girl he loves.

"Well, I guess we'll use this to transition to dressing and bathing."

For the next two hours, Roxanna continued to show Peyton the ins and outs of his care. Lucas never spoke again, his eyes barely moved and he would close them for most of it.

In typical Peyton Sawyer fashion, she never faltered. Constantly smiling at him, talking to him as though nothing was different. Nothing affected her. Lucas couldn't understand it, she was too good for this.

With her purse in hand, Peyton pulled up a chair next to Lucas' bed and sat down. Roxanna had left a little while ago to gather up some supplies for Lucas' pending release. There was a lot left to do. The house had to be altered to fit the needs of the wheelchair. A few pieces of monitoring equipment had to be delivered and there were still a few minor things left for her to learn.

Reaching out to his sleeping frame, Peyton took his hand. One thing she'd noticed from her frequent visits these last six months, was how tired he grew so quickly. His body was unable to handle to much activity. A far cry from the boy who once played a full 40 minute basketball game.

His lashes began to flutter, his eyes shifting to her, still isolated by the brace.

"Hi." She chirped softly, running her palm over the top of his hand over and over. "I'm about to head out…I gotta take Lily to the doctors this afternoon."

Lucas blinked slowly. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah." Peyton nodded reassuringly. "I'm pretty sure it's just a stomach bug…can I…Lucas is she a vegetarian?"

"Of course she is…you didn't know that?"

A long, painful sigh escaped her lips as Peyton allowed her eyes to fall shut. "She never told me. I'll never understand you Scott's." She said with a broken laugh, fixating her gaze back onto him. "I guess I'll have to alter my dinner game plan."

"Use the steamer in the top shelf above the stove. She loves steamed carrots."

She felt her eyes welling, even at a distance, Lucas knew the right things to do for his baby sister. "Okay…anything else?"

"Cereal." He smiled weakly. "She'll eat it to replace any meal if you're stuck for ideas. She loves Cheerios."

Lifting his hand, Peyton dropped a kiss onto it and caught a glimpse of her watch out of the corner of her eye. "Thanks. I better get home. I'll see you soon."

He was quiet as she stood and backed away. His mind lingered on one word she used…home. It surprised him that she was now considering his house as her home.

An hour and a half later, Peyton and Lily found themselves outside of the St. Mary's Family Clinic. They were in the parking lot, the car shut off, locked in a stalemate.

"Lily, please…"

The little girl shook her head, not feeling well made Lillian Scott cranky. "I don't want to go. He'll just take my blood or make me go to the stupid x-ray room."

"He's just gonna want to check you over, figure out what's wrong and make you feel better."

"I feel fine." She insisted with a slight pout.

Peyton sighed inwardly. "Your pale face says otherwise."

"Shut up, you're NOT my mom!"

The words stung, and her face hinted at this for only a moment, but Peyton took the opportunity to put her foot down. "Lillian Karen Scott, you will stop pouting, get out of this car and go inside because all I'm trying to do is make sure you're okay! Do you understand?" This was the first time she'd ever raised her voice to that tone with the little girl. Needless to say, it surprised them both.

Her long hair waving, Lily nodded slowly and opened the door. When she stepped out, Peyton chocked out a quiet sob and gripped the steering wheel tightly. A moment later, she made her way out and around to take Lily's hand.

The two girls were now sitting side by side in the waiting room. Peyton couldn't help but notice that Lily had kept her hand firmly locked inside of hers. It then registered for her exactly why the grip was so tight. Lily was afraid that her outburst might have pushed Peyton away. She was afraid she would lose someone else.

"Hey…" Peyton said, breaking the silence of the room. A pair of dark, innocent eyes met hers. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Lily's bottom lip shook a bit. "Me too, I didn't mean to."

"I know." The blonde nodded with a smile. "Friends?"

Instead of answering, Lily sat up on her knees in the chair and wrapped her arms around Peyton's neck. "I love you."

Peyton could not remember a time that those three words meant more to her as they did in that moment.

With her back resting on the couch, Peyton untied her hair and let it fall across her back and shoulders. She let out a long breath and rubbed her eyes abrasively. She was so ready to have him home, here where she could see him everyday. Where Lily could see him everyday.

Speaking of, the little girl came from the hall with a blanket wrapped around her. Without speaking, Peyton patted the spot on the couch next to her and they sat together. Peyton lifted her, settling Lily onto her lap and cradling her body close.

"You feeling any better?"

She nodded slowly. "A little. The medicine makes me sleepy."

"Feel free to take a nap, sweetie. I'll stay here with you."

Lily nestled her head into Peyton's chest and wrapped her small, left arm around the blonde's back. She couldn't help but smile, all the while Peyton thought she was keeping Lily safe. Lily was doing the same for her.

"When is Lucas coming home?"

Peyton sighed. "Soon, Lily Bear. Probably…next Monday, it's gonna be kinda tough around here for a while, sweetheart."

"How so?" She asked so innocently that Peyton was almost afraid to tell her.

They needed to be ready, she knew that. "He's gonna be in a chair…you know like a wheelchair." Lily nodded. "We'll just have pretend like nothing's wrong, okay? He's gonna need a lot of support."

"I just want him to come home…"

Peyton smiled. "Me too…" Just then, the telephone started to ring in the kitchen and Peyton groaned with a laugh. "Alright, I better go answer that." She stood, settling Lily into the sofa cushions. "Wait here…I'll be back."

Stepping into the kitchen, Peyton picked up the phone. "Scott residence."

"Hi, Peyton…" There was hesitation in the voice, it brought agitation to the girl who answered.

"Hello." She mumbled offhandedly.

A sigh came through the receiver. "How are you?"

"We're fine, Haley."

"I'm just checking in, Peyt…we're all concerned."

With a grumble, Peyton leaned against the wall behind her. "We're not reality show, Haley. You can't just turn on the channel whenever you're curious."

"I told you…we would be there if we could!"

When Haley raised her voice, Peyton followed. "You weren't even here when he had surgery! We needed your help…I needed your help."

"Peyton, the season is going to be over soon and Jamie will be out of school. Then we'll come down and help as much as we can through the summer."

When Peyton heard Lily call her name in the other room, she let her patience break from the thin ice it was treading on. "Alright, well I won't be holding my breath." She slammed the phone down and walked into the living room.

It was then she saw Lily rolling around on the couch trying to get comfortable. "What's wrong, babe?" She asked delicately, moving around the sofa.

"This couch isn't good for sleeping on."

"Okay…" Peyton thought for a second before bending down and scooping the little girl into her arms. "Let's get you to bed for a little while." Carrying her down the hall and pushing the door open with her back, Peyton rested Lily onto the mattress and dropped a kiss on her forehead. She then took a seat beside her while pulling a blanket over the girl's frame. "Lily…how come you didn't tell me you were a vegetarian. I would have never made you eat all that chicken."

She shook her head. "I didn't want to make you cry again."

Peyton reached up and stroked her fingers through the girl's long, black hair. "Honey, I only cried, because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to take good care of you. So I need you to tell me if I'm doing something wrong because…being there for you is my first priority."

"I love you." She cooed again, making Peyton's heart flutter. Lily then stifled a yawn. "I hate stupid rob-tussin."

"It's Robitussin, and it'll make you feel better, but it'll also put you to sleep. I'll be in the other room…just call if you need anything."

As Peyton stood and moved to the door, not before turning back as Lily drifted off. "I love you too, Lily Bear."

Closing the door behind her, Peyton shuffled back into the living room and picked a few things up fro the floor. Lily and Skills certainly knew how to make a mess of things.

She couldn't shake Lucas' face from her mind. The embarrassment on his face when he slipped and lost control. It didn't bother her, she tried her best to show him that…but Lucas' pride was clearly damaged by her seeing that.

A moment later, there was a soft knock on the front door, stopping before she sat, Peyton walked to the door. Without peering through the peephole, she opened the door and felt her throat hitch at the face before her.

"What the hell are you doing here?"


	8. Commitment

**Chapter Eight: Commitment**

**_Commitment - loyalty: _**_devotion or dedication, e.g. to a cause, person, or relationship _

It felt like a movie, or a horror story that someone would tell around a campfire at one in the morning. When she heard the knock, Peyton just assumed it was Skills, he was really the only one in town that ever stopped by. That's why she answered with a smile, that's why she opened it so carelessly…that's why she was regretting it now.

"What the hell are you doing here?" There was uncontrollable venom that spat from her lips with each word.

He smiled at her, it took everything she had not to smack him. "I'm here to help."

"Get off my property."

As she moved to shut the door, his voice stopped her. "Your property? Since when did you buy this house?" Peyton kept her eyes fixated on the tile floor and slowly moved her head back up to him. "My son was involved in a very serious car accident and I have to find out about it from Deb."

She shook her head. "He is not your son."

"I'm not here to start a fight, Peyton. I really am here to help."

"No…" She started, her voice shaking slightly at the intimidation that Dan Scott, a convicted murder, carried with him. "Lucas believed once that you could become a good person, then you killed Keith and…no, I won't let you near them."

Again she pushed the door closed, this time, he used his foot to stop her. "He can't live here." Four words that had been in the back of her mind since the first time she looked up his condition online. The hallways were too small, the bathrooms were inaccessible…his chair would barely fit through most of the doors. Dan sensed her instability through the door between them and spoke again. "I have a huge beach house that has been untouched for years. I'm offering it to you as a show of good faith. I want to help…my son."

When she opened the door again and took a long look into his eyes. Saw the wrinkles that had formed under them over the years, and the gray that was invading his hair strand by strand. Only one emotion ran through her body…absolute fury.

Her arm flew back and swung forward all the same before crashing against his worn cheek. His head shot to the left, only to be attacked once more by yet another smack. Over and over again, she struck him, each blow weakening as the tears hammered her.

Dan eventually covered his face, but when her blows softened, he looked up and saw her breaking down right in front of him. When he reached up to comfort her, Peyton took a hasty step away. "Don't you dare." She whispered. "Don't you dare!" Her voice raised immensely. "You took away her father!"

"I…what?" The words confused him, they seemed completely out of left field.

Peyton moved to the door and pushed it open with her back. "She never even had the chance to see him, you took him away from her! You selfish bastard! You stay away from them!"

With force, she finally slammed the door closed and managed to lock it before the tears began to fall steadily. Peyton covered her mouth and slid to the floor against the first wall she could find. Dan was right, Lucas couldn't live here, this house wasn't nearly big enough for his wheelchair and all the things he would need.

They weren't ready for this, she wasn't ready for this.

It was then, that she saw something out of the corner of her eye. Looking up, it was Lily…watching the blonde sit on the floor in a mess of sobs. Before Peyton could move, the little girl made her way, swiftly to the door and wrapped her small arms around the older woman.

"Why are you crying?" Lily asked and the words broke Peyton's heart.

Her lip started to tremble, as she bit it back to stop the cries. "I'm just a little bit scared, honey." It was the truest words she could speak. Peyton would never let Lily know that Dan was outside. She would but a bullet in his head before that man got to her precious little girl. "I'll be okay." She took a second to clean herself up, then gently took Lily's arms off her and smiled. "You're supposed to be sleeping."

In her eyes, Lily showed concern…worry and maybe a little fear. Her next words confirmed it. "Will you lay with me?"

With a soft nod, Peyton stood slowly. "Of course." She bent down and picked her up, a small groan escaping her lips. "You're getting big, girl. I remember when I held you for the first time, you were six pounds, eight ounces." They stepped into the bedroom and crawled into the small bed together.

"That's small."

Peyton reached down and pulled a blanket over them both. She then let her hand rest protectively over Lily's back. "I was there when you were born. I was in the hospital with your mom and your brother when you came into the world. Lucas was so happy."

"And my mom?" There was so much innocence in her eyes, that Peyton tried so much to avoid any mention of Karen Roe, Lily's mother.

As much as it discomforted her, Peyton could never keep Karen out of Lily's mind and heart. "Your mom was…asleep, she was sick when you were born. But she was so strong for you and your brother. When I was younger, I looked up to her. She was amazing."

Without a word, Lily turned away and began rummaging through her dresser drawer. Peyton leaned up on her elbow and watched the little girl pull a small chain out and laid back down with it.

"What's that?" Peyton asked in a whisper. A smile tugging at her lips.

She ran her fingers over the larger portion of the chain, from her angle, Peyton couldn't make out the inscription she saw.

"Forever and ever, we'll never be apart. Just close your eyes, baby…I'll be in your heart." A tear streaked sideways down Lily's face before landing on her pillow. "She gave it to me on my fifth birthday. A couple days later…she died."

Peyton knew none of the details, after everything that happened with Lucas' accident and trying to raise a young child, it never seemed appropriate to ask. Karen had been gone for some time before these two Scotts came back into her life. Lily was strong, she spoke of her mother with a smile for the most part. Yet, when the rest of the world slept, she would cry through the night until she couldn't stay awake.

"She's proud of you, baby. Just like me, I am so proud of you and how strong you are." The girls laid back down, meeting face to face as Peyton stroked her cheek gently. Lily then let out a stifled yawn and blinked heavily a few times. The medicine was overpowering her. "You go to sleep, babe. I'll be here when you wake up. Maybe then we'll cook some dinner. I gotta try that steamer out." She said with a warm smile as the child laughed playfully.

Lillian nestled her head into Peyton's chest and closed her eyes, before the blonde could even process a thought, she fell asleep as well.

There aren't many places in the world that carry heartache like a cemetery. You don't come here to smile or laugh. This is not the place for happiness and joy. You come here to mourn, to forgive, let go, ask for guidance. To be around those loved and lost.

For Peyton and Lily, Tree Hill Cemetery had a lot of meaning. There were three slabs of marble here, that carried immense significance. As they did every two weeks, they would come here together, visit each grave together…then cry together.

Keith always came first, it was the easiest for them both, since neither of them knew him all that well. Lily never met her father and Peyton only knew of him as Lucas' uncle. Even so, the impact he carried, on the both of them, was great.

With her hands resting softly on Lily's shoulders, Peyton stood at his grave with a warm smile as the little girl placed the flowers on the grass. She sniffled a bit, wiping her eyes before resting against Peyton's legs.

"I love you, Daddy." She whispered softly, breaking Peyton's heart in a million different pieces. "I-I watched a basketball game for you the other day. North Carolina…Lucas told me they were your favorite. They won."

Peyton knelt down to be at the same height as the child. She smiled. "It's true…she waited all day for that game."

Her hand was resting gently on Lily's back, rubbing circles on it for support. "Mommy used to tell me that…you would give her Lilies when she was sad about something. That's why she named me Lily. To always remind her of you." As the tears started falling from Lily's eyes, Peyton began running her fingers through her hair. Encouraging her to continue. "I-I'm glad she's there with you now. I just miss you guys." She was trying desperately to stay strong.

"You can cry, baby…it's okay. That's why we're here."

Lily shook her head firmly, a weak smile on her face. "Not before I see my mom."

"Okay." Peyton nodded, standing slowly. "Lets go see your mom." Absentmindedly, she turned back to the rock they left. "Bye Keith, we love you."

Karen's resting place wasn't more then a few steps away. They had a path pretty much worn in this grass of their route. This one was much harder, seeing that name etched in stone was almost surreal.

The second set of flowers in her hand were now placed onto the onto a pile of wilted ones and Lily dropped her lips softly onto the rock. A move she learned from watching Peyton with her mother. "Hi, momma. I-I hope everything's good where you are." Above her, Peyton was desperately biting her lip to stop from breaking down. "I umm…I love and I miss you. Peyton's taken good care of me, Lucas is coming home soon. I…" Lily's voice gave out and she began crying softly. Taking a breath to recompose herself, Peyton knelt down and quickly scooped the little girl up into her arms.

"That's good for today, honey." Peyton said, standing up and carrying Lily away from her mother's grave. "You did so good."

She could feel the tears hitting her neck as they moved to the car. Peyton fought her own emotions before opening the door with her free hand. "What about your mom?" Lily asked with a small hitch in her throat.

"I'll see her another time." Peyton responded with a smile before carefully placing the girl in her seat. After buckling Lily's seatbelt, Peyton lifted her head up from the car and took a double take at the figure across the street.

Her fist clenched and her stomach fell all the same. "Lil, you stay in the car, okay?"

"What?"

Sensing the concern in the child's voice, Peyton looked down at her with a warm smile. "Just stay here, okay…I'll be right back. Then we'll go get some ice cream, sound good?"

Lily wiped her eyes again, nodding slowly. "Yeah."

"Okay…" Peyton leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek.

She then leaned back and shut the car door before making her way hastily across the road. With each step she took closer to him, the anger consumed her even more.

"What are you stalking me?" Her voice echoed off the wall that Dan was leaning on. Seeing her expression, he tried to speak, but was immediately stifled. "You stay away from us, God-dammit! You stay away from her!"

"Stop it and listen to me." Dan countered back, matching her tone and using his size to try and intimidate her as he took a step closer. "I only…want…to help" His voice was slow, precise as he put an emphasis on each word.

With her back leg shaking, Peyton held her ground. "I don't want Lily too see you, to know you. Stop following us."

His hand slowly moved inside of his suit pocket and she felt her eyes following his movements carefully. However, the only thing he pulled from his jacket was a single key that he extended to her. "Take this key, and I'll leave you alone."

"I don't want your help…we don't need to owe you anything, we're going through enough already." If there was any moment, where Peyton hated her own sensitivity, it was right now. Her voice broke under the words, tears started building in her eyes.

Dan took himself seemingly out to character to Peyton, he smiled…genuinely. "You won't see me again…you have my word."

"Your word doesn't mean shit to me." Peyton spat back, in spite of her cries.

His head shook slowly, still holding the key to her. "I've made mistakes, Ms. Sawyer. Helping my son is not one of them." Dan grasped her wrist softly, feeling her tense under his touch. A moment later, he dropped the key into her palm and took a step back. "I'll handle the moving and selling Lucas' old house. You won't see me again."

Peyton kept her gaze fixated on him, trying to hold the resentment. "I hate you." The words weren't for her, they were for Lily and Lucas. Karen and Keith. Anyone and everyone he'd ever hurt.

Dan let out a soft chuckle, nodding as his back turned to her slightly. Before he went out of earshot, he spoke once more. "Peyton." She swallowed hard, trying not to look him in the eyes. "Thank you…for taking care of my son."

Before she could process the thought, he was gone…and Peyton was left standing in confusion. A key in her hand…they really did need a bigger home.

"Excuse me…" Peyton started, sitting down at the kitchen table with a phone in her hand. "Yes, I was just wondering if there was a bus that went along the beachfront property?"

"Yes Ma'am there is, it's number seven and it shows up around 6:15."

Her eyes widened a bit. "Wow…6:15, that's early."

"It's the only way we can get the kids to school on time." It was hard enough waking Lily up at six, let alone to have her ready to go fifteen minutes after that. They needed the room, and Lily loved the water, moving her to the beach would be leverage enough. "Are you planning on having your child ride this bus?"

When it came to situations about their relationship, it was easier to lie. "Yes, my daughter." There were no questions this way. "She'll be on that bus starting next week."

"Okay, I'll tell the driver to expect a new rider."

Peyton smiled. "Thank you." She then closed her phone and set it on the table.. "Lily! How's that homework going?" Her voice carried from the kitchen through the living room.

"Fine! I hate these God-damn math problems."

For a moment, Peyton thought she was hearing things. It sounded like another language coming from her. Standing up, she quickly moved to the other room. "What did you say?"

"I hate these God-damn math…"

"No." She said sternly, cutting the child off mid sentence. "You do not say that word, under any condition."

Lily's eyes softened. "But…"

"I don't care, I won't have you cursing…you're only eight years old."

"You said it today, to that man at the cemetery, you were screaming and yelling at him." The words crushed her, it wasn't often, if ever that Lily heard Peyton yell. She made sure to always keep her tone soft around her….always. "That was…different, I was just dealing with some stuff. Stuff you don't need to worry about."

Lily shook her head. "Who was he? He was scary looking."

"That's just…he's a really bad man."

It was then that Peyton noticed the little girl's face change. "How bad?"

"Lil…"

"Is he like a robber or something?" The innocence of her voice made Peyton smile and wince all the same. She wasn't sure what the girl knew, yet…she hated the thought of lying to her.

Peyton took a breath, looking down at her fidgeting hands. "Do you know who Dan Scott is?" Her face froze, fear painting over it.

"Is that who that was?" She asked with a quivering lip, clearly Lily knew something.

Immediately, Peyton swooped in to comfort her. "Lil…"

"Don't let him take you from me, please."

"No, no…" She cooed, rubbing her back quickly. "I won't let him take me from you. Nothing could, honey."

When it came right down to it, Peyton had absolutely no idea. Yesterday in the mail, she received a letter from Lucas' rehab center containing a list of the things they would need when he was brought back home. Money was certainly not the issue, the lawsuit covered any and all medical expenses, hospital or otherwise.

The issue however, was the sheer mass of this list. It was actually frightening in its bulk, there was so much that would be different now. They would have to completely redo the shower, with a detachable head. To make that situation even worse, she would have to help him for a while until his arms gained more strength. Its not that she minded, Peyton would do anything for him. She just knew Lucas, and knew the damage it would do to his pride.

They needed a toilet seat raiser, since Peyton would be transferring from chair to toilet and back, dipping him down that low wasn't good for her. Not only that, but she would have to sit with him and make sure he was stable the first few times. This commitment was growing more and more intense with each passing item and description on the list. There was no way she would waver, she wanted to do this.

Stepping into the store located just outside of Charlotte, Peyton looked around at the sheer mass of it. There were items and boxes all around her. A rail filled with wheelchairs at ungodly prices. She surveyed the list quickly, apparently the center was providing one of those.

"Hello." A voice called to her from behind.

Turning swiftly, Peyton saw an older man, with glasses and a warm smile standing behind the counter. "Hi."

"How can I help you, young lady?"

She took a breath. "I uh…I have this list that I got in the mail. I'm gonna be taking care of someone soon and these are the things I was told I would need."

"Okay…" He waved her over, extending his hand for the paper. "Lets take a look." The man's blatant experience in this line of work shone through the moment he looked at her list. A frown, his compassionate eyes meeting hers, he spoke. "I'm terribly sorry." Peyton could only give a weak nod before he came around the counter. "Let's go gather your things."

Two hours passed before everything was finally found and paid for. There were 82 items in total, some of them small, some of them for one time use and others would be used multiple times a day. Luckily she's brought Lucas' pickup truck to take it all home in. Even if the stick shift was seemingly kicking her ass.

A few hours later, Peyton finally made it back home. Skills and Lily were outside playing around in the grass outside the home. She parked the truck with a loud thump as she struggled to put it in park. Looking out the side window, she saw Skills chuckling at her.

"It's not as easy as it looks!" She shouted to him with a laugh while stepping out of the car."

His eyes then surveyed the contents in the bed of the truck. "You buy the store out there, ?"

Again, that heavy cloud that had been circling her for months now, reappeared at the wrong moment. "There's a lot of stuff involved." Skills could sense her sadness and walked over to give her a quick hug.

"You want some help unloading it?"

She pulled back from him with a smile. "Actually, you remember Nathan's beach house?" He nodded. "Could you take it all there, we're moving."

"Deb gave you the beach house?"

It was easier to lie. "Yeah, it's bigger…better for the chair." She then checked her watch for what had to be the hundredth time today. She'd been so eager, so anxious to get him home and bring him back into their lives. "We need to get going, you take this stuff to the house?" He nodded as Peyton moved past him to the girl picking grass from the ground and letting it flutter in the wind. "Lily Bear…" Her dark, beautiful eyes looked up to meet hers. "You ready to go pick up your brother?"

She nodded slowly before standing up and brushing off her pants. They locked hands and watched as Skills backed the truck out of the driveway, leaving Lucas' Mustang for them.

As they pulled into the rehab center, the first thing they saw was Lucas and Roxanna sitting outside. Lucas so small in his chair, his distant eyes destroying them both. Peyton turned the car and stopped it just beside them, quickly stepping out with her best smile on…for him.

"Hey you." She said softly, moving around the car and giving him a hug as Lily took her seatbelt off. Before Peyton could pull herself away from him, Lily was in the middle of the embrace, taking in the feeling of the two people she cared about most.

"Hi, Luke." Lily's sweet voice tearing down his broodiness for the time being.

He smiled at her. "Hi, Lily Bear."

"Okay…" Roxanna finally broke in, taking a step to the car. She then displayed a large strap she'd been holding. "Come here, Peyton…I'll show you how to strap him in. The blonde leaned into the open door of the car with the nurse and paid close attention to her every move. "Alright, now this…" She spoke and acted at the same time. "Goes around the back of the seat, tying in through the bottom. These two straps go crisscross over his shoulders and then you wrap this one up form the bottom and latch them together at his midsection."

Once the strap was in place, the girls moved back to Lucas. Peyton's hands fell on the pushing bars of his char and moved him closer to the car. She looked to Roxanna who nodded assuredly.

"You ready?" Peyton asked him, moving her hair back and tucking it under her shirt. Lucas gave a small nod. Kneeling down a bit, she hooked her hands under the straps of his pants and looked to the car seat. It was going to be a tough pivot, with the curb and all, but Roxanna was close just in case. Helping Lucas' arms around her neck, she looked into his eyes and grinned sweetly before hoisting him up from the chair and swinging him to the car seat. Sitting sideways, Peyton took his legs and moved them inside as well, then took the straps and latched them onto him. "You good?" Another nod, his silence towards her still there, Lucas was struggling to hold his emotions in check…and quiet was the best way for him to do that.

Standing up from the car, Peyton turned back to Roxanna who clearly had more directions for her. "Alright, now to break down the chair, you pull it up from the middle of the seat. Try it." The blonde hooked the seat cushion as Lily was talking to Lucas inside the car.

Collapsing the chair down and folding it up, she took it to the back and opened the trunk. It wasn't easy, it took a lot of effort, but the chair barely fit in the back.

Without saying another word, Peyton took Roxanna in for a heavy embrace. "Thank you for taking care of him." It was then that Roxanna pulled the blonde back, gazing at her deeply.

"It's your responsibility now. From what I can see…both of them are, you up for that?"

Peyton's eyes shifted to the brother and sister in the car, talking, Lily laughing and Lucas trying like hell to match it. They were both the loves of her life…this was where she was supposed to be. "I am."


End file.
